Just Enjoying Life

Gus has his good days and his less than good days, but nothing as bad as when he was on treatment. Spending time on medical treatments that were doing more harm than good was not what he wanted to do with his time. Quality of life became his focus.

Gus didn't keep all of those 5 ½ pounds on his frame, but he kept a few of them. One of the important things that I have learned is to not pressure Gus into eating if he does not feel like it. The decision needs to be his and his alone how much he eats and when he eats.

The only blood work that is done on Gus now is to track his coumadin level. I have no desire to deal with blood clots, so this is one medication and test I insist on.

There are no more CA 19-9 tests or planned CT scans. Very soon there will be no more scales in his bathroom to track his weight. Gus is getting very tired of knowing how much weight he has lost. I made it very clear that those scales will not be a part of my life. Hide them in the closet was our decision.

Gus spends most days in his heated shop working on his projects. He also spends time splitting firewood using his hydraulic splitter. Gus usually knows he has tried to do too much the day after splitting wood.

No More Chemo

It is time for a change.

Gus continued to decline until last Tuesday night when he decided no more treatment. No more trips to Bozeman. He had enough of chemo. Gus had lost a total of 9 pounds in 8 days. He was taking oral chemo twice a day and each time he took the pills, he could feel himself getting worse.

Gus called his oncologist on Wednesday to tell him his decision. Since stopping the oral chemo, he has gained back 5 ½ pounds. He felt so good today that he spent most of it outside in his heated shop.

Gus’ primary doctor will once again be Dr. Madany in Dillon. He is the doctor who discovered Gus’ cancer so quickly 2 ½ years ago. We spent a couple of hours yesterday with him making plans for the next step in our walk.

We never realized the pressure we were under until it was gone. There was a true freedom for both of us after the decision was made.

Tomorrow Will Be Better

We never did receive a phone call from Bozeman telling us when to come back. I started making phone calls to them on the 10th trying to force the process.

Gus had his first infusion of Oxaliplatin last Tuesday, November 16. It is platinum based and the actual infusion takes longer than the previous chemo. Gus was in the infusion room at least 4 hours. He has been very sick since Tuesday evening. He did not even get dressed the following day which is a first.

One of the toughest side effects of this platinum based chemo is the reaction to cold. Gus can no longer drink or eat anything cold or even cool. He cannot reach into the refrigerator without wearing gloves. This side effect lessens as the body recovers, though.

We are in the middle of a winter storm with temperatures below zero which has really limited us. Gus has not set foot outside since coming home on Tuesday.

The oncologist changed the protocol of the FOLFOX regiment. Instead of Gus coming home with a chemo pump, he takes the oral chemo Xeloda. Gus has taken that before so we are used to the rules and side effects.

This regiment is a 3 week plan. On day 1, Gus starts the oral chemo and has the chemo infusion in Bozeman. He then continues the oral chemo for 13 more days. After 14 days of oral chemo, he stops and has one week of recovery before starting the cycle over again. Our next appointment in Bozeman is December 7th.

Gus is a very, very sick man. He lost 7 ½ pounds from Tuesday morning to Sunday morning. As of this morning, he now weighs 130 pounds.

The CA 19-9 has increased steadily. It was 248 last Tuesday. Since November 2nd, it had gone up 83 points in just two weeks. The pain is increasing also. Overall the outlook is not good.

Gus does plan on feeling better tomorrow and getting back into life, though.

Just Waiting

Last Tuesday was an emotional day for us. It had been two weeks since chemo, but Gus did not feel well the entire day. In fact, it was one of the worst days he has experienced.

The oncologist had not submitted the necessary paperwork for the insurance’s approval so we only visited with the doctor. Gus did not start any new treatment regiment. He did appreciate not having an infusion which would have just made him even sicker.

The doctor wants to start Gus on FOLFOXIRI. It is a chemo regiment for colon cancer. Gus would wear a chemo pump for 48 hours every two weeks. We’re hoping that they will allow me to disconnect the chemo after the 48 hours.

Right now we are just waiting to hear from Bozeman for the next step. Gus has even stopped taking the daily targeted therapy pill.

Gus has spent these nice fall days getting projects done outside. Our place has never looked better.

Last Saturday, Gus and I attempted to get a load of firewood for Scott and April. I emphasize the word attempt. Gus said he has never worked harder for a little bit of firewood. There is a song about “if it weren’t for bad luck; we’d have no luck at all”. That was our theme song for the day.

More Wedding Pictures

Wedding pictures are pouring in from Washington, Colorado and Nebraska. Our day was certainly well recorded and we so appreciate it. We just had to share more of them on this blog.

Gus’ CA 19-9 counts continue to rise. His pain is worse. He has lost almost 70 pounds total. They did a CT scan last Monday and it still is showing nothing suspicious in surrounding organs. Because of the other symptoms, though, the oncologist is not comfortable with staying on this course of treatment. Dr. Hensold does not feel it is effective anymore.

Right now, the cancer center is checking with the insurance to see if they will accept different treatment plans . . . ones that Gus has not tried before. November 2 should be the start of a new chemo regiment.

Because Gus’ pain is increasing and he is chilled all the time, he made the decision to not go to hunting camp. Gus weighs 35 pounds less this year than he did last year, so that was a large part of his decision.

Today is the first time in 26 years that opening day of hunting season has not found Gus standing on his Montana mountaintop waiting for daylight.

The minister of the local Methodist Church asked Gus to share his story. So last Sunday, Gus gave his testimony. He had no notes, just a heart full of love as he stood in that pulpit. This is at least the third church this last year that has asked him to share with them. Each time he speaks, it gets better.

The weaker Gus physically becomes, the stronger his faith is. He has touched more lives in his sickness than he ever did in good health. He is amazing.

Left to right: Billie Jo, Lindsey, Kathleen, Scott, Gus, TJ and Cammie

Front Row: Lane and Grayson

This was two of Gus' grandchildren, two of his sons, and both of his daughters. He has one of his daughter-in-laws in the picture, but we neglected to get a picture of the bride with her new family.

The Wedding

I apologize for being delinquent with the blog. September was the month for serious wedding planning and clean-up at the old homestead where the wedding ceremony took place.

Gus and I were so honored that April and Scott chose to exchange their vows at The Fenton House. A place so special to us. We were blessed with so many friends and family joining us for this milestone in our lives.

Gus continues to struggle with his weight, his lack of appetite, his low energy level and being so cold all the time. His CA 19-9 continues to rise.

He cancelled his chemo the Tuesday before the wedding to give himself more recovery time. That decision really paid off. He was able to enjoy every minute of the wedding with only one time out for resting between the wedding and reception.

We drove to Bozeman yesterday for chemo. Gus had his wedding pictures to show the doctors and nurses at the cancer center. Last night and today he has not moved from his recliner. When I came home from work, he had only eaten two slices of toast all day. By tomorrow he will probably have lost a couple of pounds again.

This picture has a story behind it.

Gus was explaining to me how he has trouble now getting out of his own shadow. As as example, Gus used the walk the three of us did down the center aisle at the beginning of the wedding.

Scott had a mission and was hustling his dad and I along at a fast clip. I saw no problem with the pace of the walk, but Gus is about to collapse at this speed. I thought he was emotional by the look on his face. In reality, he was being dragged along by the anxious bridegroom and was about to beg for mercy.

Gus asked April and Scott several months ago if he could do a Father's Blessing at their wedding. This was a beautiful moment.

Pastor Rob asked Gus if he would like to be the one that introduced Mr. and Mrs. Scott Wuelfing for the first time. This picture is the emotion after that announcement!



Later in the evening, Scott was relaxing with some of his friends. Gus saw the moment and couldn't resist the tempation! Imagine that.

A Transfusion of Blood

Gus continues to get things accomplished even though it is a struggle. He was given two units of blood August 24th in hopes it would help his energy level. His hemoglobin was getting too low. Gus was in the infusion room 7 ½ hours on that day. The transfusion really helped the hemoglobin levels, but it took a couple of weeks to improve his energy.

Gus continues to lose weight. He has lost over 60 pounds now. We appreciate the doctors’ attitudes so much. They know how hard he tries so they don’t harass him about the weight loss. Gus will have to shop in the children’s clothing section for what he will wear to the wedding.

The CA 19-9 that was taken August 17th increased slightly since the previous one. In July, it was 67 and this last time the reading was 76.

The upcoming wedding is our focus right now. You want Gus to get emotional, just ask him about Scott’s fiancé and the joy of knowing April will soon be family.

The four of us, Scott, April, Gus and I, are planning on spending tomorrow working on the site for the wedding ceremony. It looked like a hayfield until Gus brush hogged it yesterday. Now the rakes, lawnmowers, and weed eaters can start the fine tuning. God watered it during the night and I think He plans on watering it again tonight if the weatherman is accurate.

Gus loves a day getting firewood. Kathleen loves a day working at the old homestead.

Getting Firewood 8-27-2010

Back row l to r: Gus, Scott and my father, Jack
Front row l to r: L.T. and Phoenix

One of Gus' favorite things still is getting firewood. He now has about 4 cord stacked with the help of others. Scott and April are planning a final trip with Gus to finish the last 2 cords.

Gus gets so cold and the woodstove is one of the few things that make a difference. His electric blanket is also a mainstay in his life. Gus might have taken off his thermals for a few days this summer but only for a few days.

A Scary Train Ride

The Four of Us after our Prime Rib Dinner

The Gunman Trying to Convince April He Had a Better Offer Than Scott


Gus Doesn't Look Like This Was Fun, but He Did Enjoy His Moment in the Spotlight

Last Saturday, Scott, April, Gus and I drove to Lewistown, MT., so Gus and Scott could take their first train ride. We boarded the Charlie Russell Chew Choo at 5:00 in the afternoon. We were so excited! Everything was going great until we spotted several gunmen on horseback chasing us. They stopped the train and proceeded to rob the passengers.

One of the gunmen went through all the train cars until he found April. He even knew her by name! He originally was planning on abducting her until he met Scott. This gunman was later killed in the shoot out, so we were thankful that April was not caught in the crossfire. Gus and I are not sure how we feel about our son marrying a woman who personally knows train robbers.

One of the ladies of the night spotted Gus and instantly fell in love. You can tell by the picture I was doing my best to beat her off.

We spent the night at The Calvert Hotel there in Lewistown. It is a restored old 1917 high school dormitory for girls that is listed on the National Register of Historic Places. The hotel is a beautiful facility that took over a year and a half to complete. Gus and I loved looking at the scrapbook on the project.

Our week-end was definitely one of those memory we will cherish in the years to come.

Gus & Salty at the Clinic

Gus and Salty

Gus was only able to participate in the horse clinic for the first couple of hours. He started out on Friday morning and that was the last time he stepped into the arena. Gus just never felt well enough again.

Gus did sit in the shade and listen to the instructions for part of the time, so it wasn't a complete loss. It was a huge disappointment to both of us, though, that he wasn't able to take a more active role.

Camping

Across the hillside left to right: April (behind the tree)

T.J., Gus and then Scott is the front leading the packhorse
(Lindsey used her horse's ears to center the picture)

Gus on Salty

Scott is in the background

T.J. riding Santana

Our Goal!
We had been to hunting camp, cut firewood and then Gus wanted to take us to his special hillside.This is the view from a meadow on that hillside, overlooking
the route we had ridden in

Taking a break on that hillside

Lindsey, Lane, Kathleen, Gus, T.J., Scott, April

The camping trip was very enjoyable. We achieved Gus' goal of getting to hunting camp from the Dillon side. It was supposedly 6 miles from the campground to the area where they hunt, but all of us felt it was farther than that. We knew we had ridden at least thirteen plus miles before the day was over. No one moved very fast that evening.

T.J. started back home to Seattle Saturday night after the ride so none of us got to hear his complaining about his sore muscles. We think he planned it that way.

The weather was ideal. Each day had "opportunities", but it was a great time overall.

Gus had a CT scan done in Dillon the next day, July 19th. We were then scheduled to meet with the oncologist early Tuesday morning to review the results.

Dillon did not push the results to Bozeman in time for our appointment. The doctor gave us a few minutes after Gus had chemo and the three of us looked quickly at the scan. There was no noticeable change so we are pleased.

The CA 19-9 taken had climbed somewhat, but nothing to really concern us. It was 67 where the previous one had been 61.

Now Gus' focus is on a horse clinic he and Salty are participating in this week-end. The clinic is there at Lindsey's facilities. It will be for three days and will be a challenge for Gus' strength and energy level.

This will be the first clinic Gus has been a part of. He has been an observer several times watching his wife, but never has he had a special horse like Salty. Never has he felt the desire to be the center of attention before. This will definitely be a "Kodak Moment"!

T.J.'s Visit

T.J. and Gus

Gus, April, Lane and Scott

Lane and Gus

Gus' son, T.J., is visiting for a week. None of us will be ready for him to leave next Sunday morning. This morning T.J. grabbed his fishing pole, walked 50 feet to the creek next to our house and caught his breakfast. A 14 inch Brook Trout. He was a little smug sitting at the table eating his breakfast.

It was important that T.J. bring his golf clubs. They have golfed twice since he got here. The really important news from the golf game was April and Gus both got a birdie. It was the best Gus had golfed in a while.

Gus has wanted to go camping in the East Fork of the Blacktail for years. It is another route to reach their hunting camp. This coming week-end his wish will be granted.

Gus, T.J., Scott, April, Lindsey, Lane and myself will journey 40 miles south of Dillon to this campground. We are taking our horses to then ride into hunting camp on Saturday. Gus and T.J. will go in on Thursday. The rest of us will follow as we can.

Hopefully our friends from Bozeman and Billings can join us. To our knowledge they are not bringing their horses, but horseback is the only way Gus can get into hunting camp.

We have borrowed a nice camp trailer to stay in. Luxury in the mountains is the only way to go if given the choice.

Relay for Life

Kathleen and Gus

Neil and Gus

Gus with his group of Survivors

Gus has been very busy since our last update. He participated in the annual Madison County Relay for Life. Our local Relay for Life did an amazing job this year. They raised over $92,000.00. Their goal was $70,000.00.

Gloria and Neil Barnosky went with us which made the evening so enjoyable. Neil willingly did the "Gus Mosey" which is a walk in slow motion. Gus went around that track more times then I thought he physically could. He amazes everyone that he sees.

Gus was not feeling well earlier in the day, but once he surrounded himself with friends and fellow survivors, the pain was forgotten and he lived in the moment.

Baseball on Father's Day

Gus pitching a slow pitch to "The Babe"

Wind-up and the pitch

At 62, Gus still loves the game of baseball and throws a mean pitch.

Gus and April have been brainstorming this day for several weeks. When her family came from Missoula for Father's Day was the perfect time. There were 10 of us on the field. We didn't even pick teams. The rules were simple. Anything was acceptable and everyone was a star.

It looked like we were going to get rained out, but God blessed us again and gave Gus a desire of his heart . . . . to play baseball again. Parts of the state were experiencing tornadoes while we played in the sunshine on a beautiful afternoon.

A Victory

Today is a milestone in our lives. Two years ago today, Gus and I received the phone call from the doctor telling us the results of the CT scan. Neither one of us can forget how hard it was to breathe.

The fact that Gus is still breathing is a miracle. In fact he is breathing so well that he has been up since 5:30 this morning getting things accomplished. Last night he was out mowing the lawn at 10:00.

Gus had chemo on Tuesday and felt terrible that evening and the following day. This seems to be his normal response after chemo (whatever normal is). By Thursday he was back among the living and ready to achieve something in his day.

The biggest opportunity we still have is his weight. Gus weighs 16 pounds less than he did at the end of radiation the fall of 2008. He was so thin then. Gus still looks good overall, though, because he forces himself to get out each day. He also is begrudgingly drinking his calorie rich drinks.

Last Tuesday, Gus was finally able to golf before going to chemo. We had met with the doctor in the morning, and then Gus headed to the golf course to meet with his good friend, Gail. They had a wonderful time and a beautiful day for golfing.

Everyone greeted Gus when he went back to the cancer center to ask how the game went. They all take a personal interest in his victories. Nine holes of golf was definitely a victory!

Denver

Mary, Jan, Gus and Dorothy

Katherine and Gus

Gus loved his trip to Denver. He stayed with his sister, Mary. Monday afternoon, his other sister and brother-in-law, Jan and Ray, came from Paige, AZ. He was with his Mom four times. They took Dorothy to lunch on Tuesday, before Ray and Gus spent most of the next three hours lost in the rain somewhere in the Denver area.

While in Denver, he spent time with his nephew, Jeff, and his family. He visited his cousin, Nancy and her husband, Vick. Gus also went to Kiowa, CO, to see Katherine and her husband, Randy. Katherine is the daughter of one of my favorite cousins from Washington.

Gus was able to golf only one time while there. He and Mary went Monday morning. He thoroughly enjoyed himself, but rumor has it, no records were set on low numbers. Gus never felt well enough again and the weather never co-operated. In fact, Denver even had tornados on Tuesday.

The struggle continues for us. Food no longer tastes good to Gus. He lost three pounds in the few days he was gone. Our next step is to start on the calorie rich weight gain drinks that Gus detests. There is a powder that the doctor gave us to try. You mix it with whole milk and get 600 calories in 8 ounces. I will probably gain weight just mixing it for him.

We talked last night of the things we refuse to give up. No matter how hard golfing is on Gus, quitting is not an option. Golf is one of the things he loves. Even if he can physically do only five or six of his nine holes, that is enough. We are going to force ourselves to focus on what he can do, not on what he can’t do.

A Long Overdue Trip

Lane, Gus and LT

Lane kept begging his grandfather to go for a motorcycle ride, so last Sunday they had some fun. They have only gone to the golf course once this spring, due to the nasty weather we have had. Gus can tolerate very little cold.

Gus is flying to Denver this Saturday to visit his mother and both sisters. He will be gone for six days. It has been fourteen months since Gus last saw his mother and sister, Jan. This trip is long overdue.

We were waiting to see how he responded to this new treatment before making plane reservations.

Gus maintained his weight this week and only has a rash as a side effect. The rash looks like teenage acne and only seems to be affecting his face and chest. It was quite the challenge this morning to shave around all those pimples.

Gus is planning on taking his golf clubs to Denver in hopes the weather cooperates.

This morning, we did schedule his next cycle of chemo with golf in mind.Gus will do blood work and see the doctor first thing each Tuesday. He will then go to the golf course and hopefully have the strength to play nine holes. After golfing, Gus will go back to the cancer center for his infusion.

New Treatment Plan

Gus has been on his new treatment plan for ten days now. Nothing drastic has happened with side effects other than weight loss. Gus has lost ten pounds in the last two weeks . . . seven of those pounds in the last week. This has become the biggest concern for everyone involved.

Gus’ appetite is good and he concentrates on eating throughout his day. He is getting so frustrated. No matter how hard he tries, the scales will not reward him.

We questioned the doctors as to why the sudden change with Gus’ treatment plan. The decision was based on Gus’ symptoms April 6th when we had met with our oncologist. We don’t disagree; we just felt the other treatment plan was still very effective and we knew how he tolerated it.

The CA 19-9 taken April 27th was great. It was 58, which is almost in the normal range. We were surprised the positive numbers on the CA 19-9 didn’t have more influence with the doctor than it did. Gus’ other symptoms of pain and fatigue seem to be more of what the doctor is concerned with than what the CA 19-9 shows. I feel so much of the fatigue he is experiencing is because of the narcotic pain killers. He is drugged all the time.

Another note of interest, the oncology pharmacist in Bozeman has been studying reports on the toxicity of the drug given to Gus in the infusion room. She has discovered that the faster it is infused, the less toxic to Gus. So after 1 ½ years of being on this chemo, the last two times Gus has received it, it took only 30 minutes as opposed to 90 minutes. The oncologist also increased the dose because it is the only traditional chemo Gus is receiving now.

The PA we met with on Tuesday worked in a VA hospital oncology department for 13 years. In all that time, she can only remember one patient having pancreatic cancer. They have at least three patients right now in Bozeman being treated for pancreatic cancer.

Changing Treatment Plan

Last week was an emotional time for us. The oncologist was more concerned with the CT scan results than we had realized. Gus met with a young PA for his appointment, so the oncologist came to the infusion room to visit with Gus.

The doctor had already changed Gus’ treatment regimen without discussing anything with us. We were not even aware the insurance had approved the new treatment plan.

Gus will no longer take the Xeloda chemo tablet. He now will be taking the Tarceva tablet. Gus will continue to have the weekly chemo infusions in Bozeman only now he has three weeks in a row before a week of rest. He also will take the tablet every day of the month with no break.

In the past, Gus always has low blood counts after the second infusion. I cannot imagine what the counts will be after a third infusion. Next Tuesday, the 27th, will be the first time starting with the new treatment plan. We are a little apprehensive about how Gus will tolerate something new.

Yesterday, I called the special pharmacy to set up payment and delivery instructions for the new chemo tablet. $12,816.00 was the amount they wanted to put on our credit card!! Even the person I was talking to was shocked. After my brain started functioning again, I realized they were sending a three months supply. I immediately requested only a 30 day supply for obvious reasons.

Gus is excited to see the month of May approaching. The reason is a four letter word starting with “G”. In fact, he won’t let the cancer center schedule him too far in advance for his appointments because everything must be fitted around his golfing. They are only too anxious to comply with their Poster Child’s wishes. That is no joke. He is known as their poster child there at the cancer center.

Through all the ups and downs of this walk, we still know that God is blessing us through it all. We cannot imagine going through this without our faith and our prayer warriors.

Test Results

Gus and I have avoided updating the blog until we knew results from tests. The first CA 19-9 that was done on March 16 was scary. The numbers had almost doubled in the three weeks of no treatment while we went to Mexico.

The CT scan done March 29th showed slight growth in the cancerous mass on the pancreas. Gus’ appetite had disappeared and he was at an all time low with his weight. Gus and I were doing our breathing techniques that we use when trying to control our fear . . . gulping in large amounts of oxygen.

Today we received the results of the CA 19-9 taken last Tuesday, April 6th. The number has dropped substantially. It has gone from 98 to 85. We were preparing ourselves for some bad news. Instead, we got good news. Gus just doesn’t feel well enough today to appreciate it.

Our oncologist is already making plans to change some of Gus’ meds in preparation for Gus getting worse. The hospital is presently checking to see if the insurance will cover a new med. It is Tarceva and there has been mixed results on its effectiveness. It is not your traditional chemo, but it is targeted therapy.

Gus’ appetite has improved in the last week and he has gained two pounds. Gus is back on the narcotic pain meds, though, because of the pain.

The surgeon was planning on putting the port in on the right side of Gus’ chest. He will not put a port in on the side where there has been a blood clot. The surgeon asked Gus as he was leaving the room if Gus was a hunter. You know Gus’ answer.

So the surgeon went against his own rules and put the port where the recoil of the gun can’t touch it. We so appreciated him even thinking of something so important to Gus. The port is working great. It has been used four times.

With all the negative events going on in Gus’ life, he must have decided to end things as painful as possible. The other day he smacked his shin with a hammer. Not just any hammer, but a sledge-hammer. His comment was if you’re going to hit yourself with a hammer, you want to use a big one.

Then last night, he attempted to cut off the end of one finger with his jigsaw. The big boy in this household is about to have his toys taken away.

More Opportunities

Life for Gus is one opportunity after another. We met with the surgeon last Tuesday that was putting in the portacath and when he found out Gus was on coumadin, he postponed the surgery. Gus had to be off of coumadin for five days before they were comfortable doing surgery.

Then the doctor we met was not available for surgery when Gus was ready, so now it is a surgeon we have never met. This surgeon has had some bad experiences with blood clot patients so he insisted Gus get an ultrasound done before surgery tomorrow. That was done last Wednesday in Dillon. Everything looked good on the ultrasound.

We are to be at the Bozeman hospital tomorrow morning at 8:30. We do not know exactly what time surgery is. We will stay the night in Bozeman and Gus will have his regular scheduled chemo infusion Tuesday morning before we drive home.

Gus always struggles when he goes back on chemo after taking time off. Lack of appetite, weight loss, trouble sleeping, no energy, aching body, and a stomach that never feels good is a fair description of his days right now.

Gus is scheduled for a CT scan Monday, March 29th. It was very important to him that the CT scan not interfere with cooking at our neighbor’s bull sale on March 31st. Gus still has his priorities. Bull sales before tests or . . . more important, life before cancer!

Mexico

This Is As Good As It Gets


Our Resort


The 8 Of Us at Xcaret.
The "Statue" in the back is a live Native Mayan


Gus in His Chariot.
This is how anyone who did not want to walk got to the ruins.
It was motorized by a native pedaling the tricycle.


Gus and Kathleen in the Cenote

We now know what the expression “Words Cannot Describe” means. There truly are no words to express our trip to Akumal, Mexico. It was the perfect trip. We were with three other couples who made the week unforgetable.

We stayed in the Grand Oasis Riveria Maya, an all-inclusive resort. We were even blessed with ocean front rooms.

Gus and I spent hours snorkeling and kayaking in the Caribbean. The eight of us went on two tours. One tour was to Coba which was incredible Maya ruins in the jungle and where we swam in the cenote. We also visited native Maya families.

The second tour was an all day excursion to Xcaret where we viewed native animals, fish, birds, and plants. All of us even swam the entire length of a 2,000 foot long underground river. (Life jackets were mandatory) We ended the evening being entertained by Maya history, an reenactment of the pre-Hispanic ball game and Mexican history.

The resort had several restaurants that we ate at. Our favorite was an international buffet. Gus was the Leader of the Pack when it came to eating. He ate anything and everything and never got sick once. He always went back for seconds. He felt it was mandatory to eat guacamole and chips and at least two kinds of dessert at every meal. He loved the food!

Gus could not believe the scales this morning. He lost a couple of pounds on his trip. I am sure he is the only one of the eight of us that can make that statement.

Gus had his blood checked this morning and his coumadin level was right where the doctor wanted it. It should be between 2 and 3. It was 2.3.

You can only imagine how hard it will be for Gus to take those chemo tablets next Saturday morning in preparation for the infusion next Tuesday.

Gus is to take pictures of our trip with him Tuesday when we see the main oncologist. We cannot wait for the doctor to see and hear about our trip. Gus is definitely a Poster Child.

Oh and did I tell you how much Gus loved the food!

Mexico in One Week

The doctors are still trying to get Gus stabilized with his INR (International Normalized Ratio) count. For a person whose blood clots normally, their count will be about 1. Gus' count was 4.18 last Tuesday. The higher the INR is, the longer it takes your blood to clot.

We also discovered that pancreatic cancer patients have a higher rate for developing blood clots than any other cancer patients.

Gus' CA 19-9 had dropped on the last test. It was 54 on Tuesday where it had been 55 three weeks ago. That was good news. This is the first drop we had seen since October.

The time has come for Gus to have a Port put in. His hands are just not recovering from the infusion sites anymore. His next infusion will be March 16th. After the infusion, we will meet with the surgeon and then surgery is scheduled for March 18 in Bozeman.

We are not very knowledgeable about the Port since that is not what he had before. Gus had a Pic Line the summer of 2008. We do know that having a Port put in is not a big deal, just another bump in the road.

Our thoughts are now turned towards the south. Gus and I will stay in Belgrade Thursday night and then fly out early Friday morning for LA. Our friends, Tom and Rosie, will pick us up and take us to their home in Ojai, CA until Sunday evening. Then the four of us will drive back to LA where we will meet two other couples. The eight of us will fly to Cancun early Monday morning.

Some of Gus' Offspring did receive the limited edition of Gus in his swimsuit and suspenders, but I am happy to report that Gus will not be wearing that swimsuit in Mexico. His children can breathe easier knowing their father is showing a little restraint in public.

Our Fairy Tale Week-End

Saturday morning, Gus and I watched the sunrise from 36,000 feet as we flew towards Portland!

Beau and Gus In the Cockpit

By lunchtime, Gus was standing

on the beach at Seaside, Oregon.


Cessna Citation Mustang
1:30 Sunday afternoon. The trip is over.

Gus and I met Beau at the airport at 7:00 Saturday morning. Once we landed in Portland, Beau loaned us his car and never gave us any limitations as to where we could go. Just like two little kids, we bought a map and headed towards the ocean on Highway 26.

It was a very emotional moment for us when we stood at the edge of the Pacific Ocean. Life in general is an emotional moment for us.

We ate lunch in Seaside and then continued north along Highway 101 until Astoria. We followed Highway 30 back along the Columbia River, stopping for homemade pie in Westport.

The restaurant was called Berry Patch and they had photos and videos on early logging in the area. We so enjoyed listening to the history. Gus was in the sawmill business for 18 years before we moved to Montana. He still has a special love for logging and what men went through to get that product to the sawmill.

After our pie, we continued back to Portland to find our hotel. We stayed at the Hilton in downtown Portland. Sunday morning, we picked Beau up at his condo and the three of us flew home. We were back at the Twin Bridges airport by 1:30 Sunday afternoon.

Our anniversary week-end was a story written from a fairy tale.

Living In The Moment

So what do you say to a friend that just purchased a brand new jet and offers to fly you to Portland for the week-end to celebrate your 30th anniversary?

We had gone out to dinner tonight and Beau was there at the restaurant. Now this is the same Angel that flew us to Seattle three times since we started our cancer walk. We have known that we would never fly to Seattle with Beau again. Medically speaking, Seattle cannot help us. We never even thought of taking a trip just for the fun of it.

Gus and I do not believe in coincidences. We believe in God-Things. Gus wanted us to go to the Oregon coast for our anniversary on Valentine’s Day. That is where we went for our first anniversary. I did not want to be by myself that far from home if Gus got sick, so I wouldn’t even consider it.

I felt we could go to Coeur d’Alene for our anniversary week-end. If Gus got sick, it was close enough that Scott or Lindsey could help me get their dad home. Then Gus asked what I thought of exchanging our week-end for a week in Mexico. I agreed only because we would be with two other couples who could help us if we needed it.

The timing is perfect. Gus is just finishing his chemo-free week and this is when he feels his best. So as of a couple of hours ago, we decided to go to the Oregon coast as well as Mexico in two weeks!

Living with uncertainity helps Gus and I learn to live in the moment.

So the answer to the question at the beginning of this post is . . . "What time do you want us to be at the airport Saturday morning, Beau?"

Offspring Beware

A couple of weeks ago, we were receiving spam type messages in the comments section of this blog. I have changed the settings so Gus and I view the comment before it is published on the blog. I apologize for not mentioning that earlier, but when you comment, it then goes to us first to approve.

Gus had his blood tested yesterday for his INR reading. After only two days on the new medicine, he is now too high. He has one more day of the shots, but the doctors cut his coumadin in half.

Gus will have his blood tested again on Monday to monitor his levels. He will be taking coumadin for 6 months. At times like these, Gus and I really love our doctors. They took the nurse's comment very serious.

Gus and I did a photo shoot this morning. Offspring Beware!

Blood Clots

Our latest adventure is labeled "blood clots".

A week ago, Gus realized his arm was tender. He mentioned it to the nurse last Tuesday and she was smart enough to pursue it with the doctor. The doctor called Gus yesterday morning and sent him to Dillon for an ultra-sound. The results were not pleasant. He is now giving himself shots twice a day in the stomach and taking oral coumadin.

It is very common for cancer patients receiving chemo to deal with blood clots. This is a fact that slipped right through our knowledge. Somehow we missed that statement. In my logic, I don't understand how his platelets can be so low and yet we're dealing with blood clots.

Throughout our depression last night, Gus continued to repeat one statement. "I AM GOING TO MEXICO!!"

The Visual

Gus had a "poor" week since his chemo last Tuesday. Thursday was so bad that he sent his baby, LT, home with Lindsey. He did not even feel well enough to let the pup outside. That is a first since we got her in August.

We did go out to supper last night with friends and Gus had a wonderful time. He is cautious with how much he eats because that will make him sick.

The CA 19-9 was 55 last Tuesday. We were disappointed to not see a decrease in the numbers, but always thankful to not see much of an increase.

The biggest concern we have is earth shattering to us. Gus and I had discussed that he had shorts and a swimsuit for Mexico. All of a sudden he got this stricken look on his face. His swimsuit fits a man 40 pounds heavier. Of course, I have the solution. Suspenders!

The visual has so much potential. I will be selling photos to fund our upcoming trip, so get your order in early. Offspring get a free copy or they can write me a sizeable check to keep this photo from going public.

Busy Gus

Black puppies don't show up well in pictures

Gus has continued feeling good. He also has continued getting projects accomplished. Like this picture of reroofing our pump house. Something that has needed to be done for several years. He felt it would take several days, but he finished in only two days.

Gus always battles maintaining his weight. He has dropped a couple of pounds again. He looks and feels good so I'm not concerned. Gus tries to stay no lower than 170 pounds. He saw 166 on the scales a couple of days ago. I feel it is because he is exercising with all these projects and so in turn is burning calories. Who would have thought that the man who battled his weight gain for his entire life would now be battling his weight loss.

This is the last day of his off-week for treatment and you can bet by tonight, he has something else to cross off of his to-do list. Yesterday he cleaned the chicken house. The day before that he finished rolling up the wire in the pasture in front of our house.

I feel that the reason Gus has so much energy right now is to prove to his wife that he feels well enough for a trip to Mexico. What do you think?

CA 19-9

Gus’ CA 19-9 taken 1/5/2010 increased slightly since the last one on 12/15/09. It was 54 with normal being 55 or lower. No one is concerned which is good because there is nothing to do different even if it were a concern.

After chemo last Tuesday, Gus felt great for the days following treatment. On Wednesday, he got up at 5:00 am and kept busy all day. He forced himself to stay up for his 9:00 pm chemo pills. At 9:01 pm, he went to bed and had a great night’s sleep.

Thursday is usually Gus’ worse day of the week, but yesterday was also a good day. We never know how his system will respond to the chemo, but we love the days Gus feels like being outside. These last couple of days, Gus reminded me of a pregnant woman when they start nesting. Very busy!

CT Scan in Dillon

Gus had a routine CT scan yesterday in Dillon. It took three attempts to get the IV started, but then the rest of the test was uneventful. This morning we met in Bozeman with the oncologist to compare the new scan with the last one done in September. Everything looked great and the tumor actually looked smaller in comparison to the one done four months ago. Both Gus and I could actually see a slight change in the size after the doctor mentioned it.

As soon as we got home today from the chemo infusion, Gus went to bed. I have not seen him this sick the day of chemo for quite some time. Usually it is the following two days. He hardly ever sleeps well at night so part of his problem is exhaustion. He has had two days of getting up early, driving on miserable winter roads, dealing with tests, meeting doctors, and finishing with a chemo infusion.

We had the scheduled CA 19-9 blood test done today. We should have the results by Thursday. Gus and I are always anxious to know the results.

Food does not excite Gus anymore, but he still forces himself to eat. His weight is staying steady because he focuses on calorie laden food. This could have been a dream come true if the underlying cause was not so serious. Gus has always lived for his desserts and now he gets all the desserts he can eat with no consequences to his waistline.

Gus took his calendar with him today and informed the oncologist of his trip to Mexico. As always, the doctor lets Gus dictate when we will be in the Cancer Center and when we will not. I can tell the doctor enjoys Gus' spirit. He doesn't want Gus' vacation to be too long, but he loves that Gus dreams outside the box.