Christmas

We are so enjoying our Christmas this year!

A year ago we were in a Seattle hotel room in a city that was paralyzed by a record snowstorm. "Totally different" was the description for our Christmas last year. As thankful as we were, it was still hard to enjoy Christ's birthday and the joy of the season.

Gus, my father and I spent the morning at Lindsey and Lane’s, and then we went to Marian and Linda’s for Christmas dinner.

Gus will have a birthday this coming Wednesday. It is a BIG DAY because he will be eligible for social security benefits finally. All those years of paying in will finally pay off.

Fairmont Hot Springs

Gus and Kathleen

Gus, Kathleen, Lane, Lindsey

Scott and April

We had a wonderful time in Fairmont. Gus was sick most of Saturday, but started feeling better on Sunday. Scott never even gave Gus and I a chance to draw straws on which couple Lane would sleep with. We were shoved into the room with the double beds and sure enough that was where the little boy was staying.

Celebrate One Year After Surgery

Scott and April have set their wedding date for October 2, 2010. They have chosen to exchange their vows at The Fenton House, a site that just happens to be listed on the National Register of Historic Places and is a large part of Scott’s family history. This is so special to Gus, my father and I because that old homestead is a treasure that we have poured our love into.

http://scottandapril.ourweddingday.com/

A year after the surgery we are so thankful to be where we are and have Gus feeling as good as he does. To celebrate this event, Gus, April, Scott, Lane and I are headed to the Fairmont Hot Springs Resort this week-end. We are hoping Lindsey can join us for part of the time. Lindsey is usually so busy taking care of her more than forty horses that she boards that she can’t leave like we can.

It was Gus’ idea of a fun time for a little boy and his grandparents to go to Fairmont and celebrate. Since Gus and I neither one are fans of chlorinated water, we needed Scott and April to actually be the water chaperones. We’ll draw straws to see which room Lane sleeps in.

December 17th Is A Good Day To Have In The Past

December 17th is never a comfortable day for Gus and his sisters. This was the day their father died, their grandfather died and their aunt died. Same day, just different years. When the Wuelfing family gets past this day each year, they breathe easier.

Gus and I try very hard not to be superstitious, but last December when the cancer surgeon in Seattle wanted to do Gus’ surgery on December 17th , Gus said no. He was not going under the knife on that day! Then he realized they wanted him to come in for testing on the 17th, with surgery scheduled for the 19th. That was acceptable.

Gus is not having a good day today. He has spent the day in the recliner under a warm blanket. Yesterday, he accompanied a friend to a cow sale in Three Forks. He had a wonderful time and felt o.k. Thursday is normally the worst day in his week of treatment.

Gus’ potassium level was borderline on Tuesday which was acceptable to the doctor. The nurse had a little trouble getting the IV started, but nothing of great concern. His CA 19-9 was 51 again. This is the first time we have ever seen it stay the same three weeks in a row.

Gus asked the doctor months ago about discontinuing his expensive prescription for high cholesterol. The doctor felt Gus had more important health issues, so Gus quit taking the prescription. Gus had his cholesterol checked on Tuesday and it was surprisingly low. It was 150.

Chemo must be effective for lowering cholesterol, because Gus’ diet certainly is not. Gus’ advice to you though is not to do chemo just for its medicinal purposes.

Mule Deer Quest Only a Good Memory

The “mule deer quest” started at midnight that night. They only got as far as Great Falls before they stopped to get a little sleep. It was a wonderful time for Gus, but he came home with only memories. No meat. They just didn’t see the pheasants and deer they thought they would.

Gus had his blood work for his CA19-9 taken Tuesday, November 24. The count has continued to rise and is now 51. We hate the thought of it continuing to rise after one full cycle of treatment, but it is still low enough to not be a great concern. Normally the count would have started dropping once Gus was back on chemo.

Gus did gain back some of his weight. His appetite isn’t great, but food still tastes good. It just doesn’t taste great to him.

Gus has been told and now has discovered the truth that if he pushes fluids the day before his infusion, it helps the veins getting the IVs started. After knowing that he would have to have a port put in after hunting camp, Gus seems to be doing fine. The nurses and technicians have not had any issues drawing blood or getting IVs started since September.

Last Tuesday was a nightmare driving to Bozeman . . . . slick roads and blizzard conditions. As Gus was fighting to keep the car on the highway, he looked at me and smiled. Only a fool would try so hard to get to his chemo treatment.

Gus’ low potassium level was a concern to the doctor, so Gus was given an infusion of potassium also. Otherwise the doctor was pleased with how Gus is feeling. The day before we went to Bozeman, Gus was outside splitting wood. The oncologist is amazed at what Gus continues to do.

If Gus can achieve something each day, it makes sitting in the recliner for hours at a time more acceptable.

Mule Deer Quest

Gus is leaving tonight at 10:00 pm or later with Scott, April and friends. April doesn’t get off work until then. They are driving to a ranch northeast of Great Falls to hunt pheasants and Gus is hunting a BIG mule deer buck. Shooting a large buck has been on Gus’ bucket list for over a year. They should be home Sunday evening very late.

Gus and I want to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary doing something special. I was thinking of a 3 day trip to some resort. Gus was thinking much BIGGER. His idea is to go on a 5 day trip to the Mayan Ruins 80 miles south of Cancun, Mexico. Gus loves the water and those beaches are calling to him. In reality, we are going with some dear friends so we are not quite as adventurous as we sound. They were already planning the trip and we just invited ourselves. We will leave February 28th and return March 8th.

When Gus starts chemo after a longer than normal break, there are several things that always seem to occur. He loses weight, his platelet count drops quite low, his appetite disappears and he feels his worse. He has lost about six pounds since November 3rd. Gus has really struggled these last three weeks with feeling so poor.

To Mr. Anonymous that commented on the blog update dated November 2, bear in mind that if “Gus wants it, Gus gets it”. Mr. sounded like he was an authority concerning recliners not being allowed in hunting camp. How would he know considering he has never seen one there yet. Watch the blog for further updates on Gus’ search for a blow-up recliner. Gus is open to any help from others in his search.

Apricot

Gus has now had 2 infusions since coming home from hunting camp. He never did feel very good last week, but we know we are dealing with the mental and emotional as well as physical. It is very hard to get excited about driving to Bozeman weekly.

Gus informed the doctors that we would not be doing any CT scan until after the first of the year. They should have been scheduling one in November/ December. The oncologist did say having a CT scan every three months is more aggressive than we need right now. Overall Gus is doing very well.

The CA 19-9 taken Tuesday November 3rd had risen slightly since having no treatment for three weeks. It was 43 as compared to 37 taken September 15th. It is still within the normal range so there is no concern. The count steadily decreases while Gus is on chemo, but starts to rise when he is not in treatment.

Gus and I cherish “Fun” moments more than ever. We focus on them during our low times. We had a fun moment last Saturday evening. We were in the car coming home from Butte and the conversation centered on how some parents combine their names when they name their children. Each of us shared our thoughts, but all conversation stopped when Scott stole the show with his spontaneous idea. Their first child could be named “Apricot”, the combination of April and Scott.

Gus and I now know what our grandchild’s nickname will be. The child (boy or girl) will be known as Apricot Wuelfing to us.

Hunting 2009

The guys came home last Saturday night. It took them 2 1/2 hours to go 1/2 mile trying to get through the snow with their trucks coming home. That was just part of the fun. Deep snow, big rocks, no whining wives, beautiful day, laughter and great memories.

They got 2 cow elk between the four of them. The fellowship amongst them is the reason they go . . . to bring home meat is a bonus. They had a wonderful week. Gus only had one morning where he felt a little worse for wear and went back to bed.

Scott, Gus, Les and Dennis.

The "grinning genius" figured out how to set his camera so he could be included in the picture.

Gus has always wanted a picture of what the tent looks like at nighttime with only the glow from the lanterns making the tent visible.

He made sure he came back with his picture this year.

Snow . . . Snow . . . Snow

This is Scott on his tall horse leading a pack horse who was pushing snow with its belly. This is the meadow where Scott proposed to April.

Stonehouse is the mountain in the background. Its elevation is approximately 10,000 feet. As you can tell by the angle, Gus was quite high up when he took this picture west of camp. Gus had gone for a walk Wednesday evening after the weather broke. The camp is down over the hill on the left edge of this picture.

With Scott on duty, Gus felt he was safe to catch up on a little sleep. This is Gus' same favorite meadow as last year, only this year the meadow provided seating.

Last year Gus only had a stump to sit on.

He's hoping next year there will be a recliner waiting!

Gus' joy

Gus wants the world to know he now can officially introduce April as his future daughter-in-law. Scott proposed to April 10 days ago as the two of them were riding horses through a mountaintop meadow called Honeymoon Park.

Claiming April as a part of Gus’ immediate family has been his heart’s desire for over two years. Once he got sick, it became a passion. Gus gets overwhelmed just talking about his son and future daughter-in-law.

The wedding will be next fall when April has completed most of her schooling. She is studying to be a secondary education teacher.

Gus is now on his three week vacation from treatment so he can build his strength up for hunting camp. He will not start chemo again until the morning he is leaving hunting camp to come home. He will just take his chemo tablets with him. The chemo infusion in Bozeman will then follow on November 3rd.

Gus’ CA 19-9 is once again incredible. It was 37 on October 6th. The only time we have seen it lower was last April when he was feeling so good.

Gus did try to jeopardize his ability to walk last night. He was splitting firewood and dropped a large chunk of firewood on his foot smashing his big toe. Because his feet are so tender, he was wearing his tennis shoes and had very little protection. Gus spent the rest of the evening with his foot on ice.

Gus and LT 10-5-09

Gus and LT are inseparable unless you take into consideration the moment when Gus realized the puppy was inside the car with the keys and he was outside the car looking in. At that moment there was a huge separation between them. LT had locked the car! Gus knew how happy she was with her accomplishment by her dancing up and down on the seat.

This scenario had happened to us earlier this summer, so Gus had taken precautions. He now kept a key in his wallet. For a moment, he panicked until he remembered the key outside the car.

We could not be happier with our puppy. She is everything we ever hoped for. Quiet, smart, and so much fun. She has brought so much laughter into our home. Gus spends hours on the floor playing with her and just loving her. Once again God knew what we needed.

Gus is Doing So Good

Gus is doing great right now. This is his week of no-chemo and he is living life to the fullest . . . golfing, horseback riding, taking walks with his puppy, splitting firewood, and repairing buildings at my fathers. He loves going to bed at night exhausted from accomplishing things instead of exhaustion from treatment and cancer.

Gus’ sister, Mary, spent 5 days with us and left last Monday. Those two had so much fun reminiscing, watching golf on the TV, and laughing.

He golfed yesterday in Dillon with a friend, Lonnie, and really had a great time. Gus even had a 69 foot putt.

Gus is in the mountains on horseback today. It started raining last night, but even nasty weather couldn’t dampen his excitement. He has so looked forward to another ride in the mountains. Especially since his last opportunity to ride in the mountains ended instead in Dillon redoing a CT scan.

Gus and I are amazed he feels so good 15 months into this cancer walk. It just shows you that it is God's time frame we live in, not the statistics of this world.

Doctor's Appointment 9-15-09

Gus’ CT scan was clear. No signs that the cancer is spreading to other organs. We felt confident before meeting with the oncologist that the scan would be fine, but you still love to hear the doctor’s words confirming that.

Gus’ CA 19-9 is continually dropping. Last Tuesday it was 44, well within the normal range again.

Gus refuses to have anything new to take to hunting camp the 24th of October, so putting the port in his chest will be scheduled after Gus gets home. My fear is if he has too many negatives to come back to after hunting camp, he might just continue walking into the sunset and not come home.

Gus will have to start his chemo tablets his last day of camp to stay on schedule. There really is nothing to look forward to once he comes home except endless treatments. Gus wants to add to this that he does look forward to coming back to his wife, family, puppy, friends and hunting camp next year!

Golfing 9-13-09

Lane suggested last Sunday that the three of us go golfing in Dillon for the day. Gus always wants to golf, so we grabbed the clubs and headed out. It was a perfect day and this is the most Gus has ever allowed Lane to golf. Lane played six of the nine holes. If Lane has to drive the ball over a body of water, then Gus won’t let him play the hole. Gus had several pars for the day and Lane even made a 15 foot putt. I keep remembering back to last summer when Gus had his chemo pump hissing at him and how hard it was to concentrate on his golf swing.

Mission Accomplished

Gus did report to Dillon Thursday morning for the second attempt at a CT scan. It took a couple of tries to get the IV started, but they were able to finish the test. The nurses were very nervous to the point where one actually held her finger on top of the vein to make sure the dye stayed in the vein. Another technician held his hand while they were getting the IV successfully started.

We will not know the results of the test until we meet with the oncologist next Tuesday. We have no reason to be concerned. At this point in Gus’ walk, it is just a maintenance step.

CT Scan Gone Bad

Yesterday, Gus went to Dillon for his scheduled CT scan. The technicians had difficulty getting the IV started and once they started the dye into his veins, Gus knew things were not o.k. They stopped and realized the IV was allowing the dye to infiltrate into Gus’ arm and was not in the vein. They could not proceed with the scan and Gus came home with a swollen right arm that he could not use.

Thursday Gus had planned on going into the mountains with his horse and helping friends move cows. Now he gets to go back to Dillon and have the joy of trying again for the CT scan.

Gus and I are now getting concerned that the chemo is affecting his veins. Even his favorite lab tech in Bozeman, nicknamed Dracula, had trouble drawing blood last time. We are preparing ourselves for the fact that Gus might need to have a port put in. Gus does not want a PIC line like he had last summer because of the daily and weekly maintenance involved.

On the positive side, Gus’ CA 19-9 was 52 on August 25. It is steadily coming back into the normal range. He has also gained a few pounds so we are pleased. Gus is still pain free and getting things accomplished outside. His appetite is excellent. The only problems he is dealing with right now are the side effects of treatment, not the actual cancer.

His 10 week old puppy is now nicknamed HOUDINI. If there is the slightest weakness in her fortress, she escapes. All is forgiven, though, the minute those baby puppy eyes look into Gus’ with so much love. To Gus, she is perfect.

Never to Late to be a New Father

Gus is a new father as of Saturday night. He adopted an 8 week old black lab puppy. Gus woke up Sunday morning with bloodshot eyes just like any new parent.

She is everything we had wanted in a puppy. Quiet, affectionate, and very much in love with Gus. It has been almost 10 years since Gus put his old black lab to sleep and there isn’t a day goes by, he does not miss his “Lady”. He named his new pup “LT” which stands for Lady Two. Lane cannot remember LT so he calls the pup BLT.

Gus is completely off of narcotic pain killers and he has no pain. That is incredible to us. Gus’ tumor seems to really respond to chemo.

Gus is doing well and feels LT will give him a reason to get up out of that recliner and do more. We built her a kennel out behind the barn so she can enjoy the out-of-doors if we are gone. I put her in it this morning as I left for work. I checked once before I left and she was sound asleep in the little dog house we have inside the enclosure. When Gus got up three hours later, she met him at the back door. We will not be patenting our kennel design anytime soon if it cannot contain an inexperienced boarder like LT.

Gus weighs less now than he did last summer at his lowest. He truly is eating but he just can’t seem to gain any weight. He still looks good but it is because he is outdoors a lot and his color is good.

Gus' small-sized thermal underwear was tight last hunting season but now they are loose. Yes, Gus has resorted to dressing warmer even though it is the middle of August. After all, we had our first snow in the high country August 15.

THE HERO

Gus is the Hero at the Cancer Center in Bozeman! Yesterday, a nurse that I have never met introduced herself to Gus. She told him that he was known as the hero there and the cancer center had changed the protocol in the infusion room as a result of the July 14th incident. There is always a nurse on each side of the infusion room now. She told Gus that respiratory arrest is much more serious than cardiac arrest.

The check-up was very positive yesterday with the oncologist. The blood work looked good and Gus feels o.k. considering. The doctor adjusted the dosage of the chemo as a result of the weight loss, but the doctor is not overly concerned. Gus is really trying to eat something several times a day.

We questioned the oncologist as to why we need to keep doing the CT scans when they are useless for the status of the tumor. We did not get the answer we assumed we would. If the CT scans show any evidence of the cancer spreading to surrounding organs, the oncologist would discontinue treatment. The damage chemo does to the body is reason enough to stop if the cancer is advancing using it. With pancreatic cancer, the medical profession is limited to only a couple of effective chemos. Breast cancer, for example, has multiple choices for the medical profession to choose from.

We asked the doctor what the future holds. He doubts that Gus will ever see a vacation from treatment like he did during May and June. The oncologist expects that chemo will play a major part until it is no longer feasible. Gus took that statement in stride and immediately reminded the doctor that hunting season would be coming up again and he would be gone. This is such a repeat from a year ago. Gus reminded the doctor of hunting season every chance he got last summer.

Gus rested on the drive home and spent the entire evening in his recliner after chemo yesterday. Today he is stacking hay bales that he bought to put in our barn. The only reason he is working is because he had no choice. He cannot leave the bales in the field and the hay was baled last night. He has a back-up in case he cannot do it, though.

Gus is going to experiment this week to see how severe the pain is without pain meds. He feels the pain is less, but you don't know for sure unless he tests it.

Overall, Gus is doing good. His spirits are up and he is enjoying life as much as possible. Thursday is usually his worse day for feeling bad after the infusion.

Bozeman 8-4-09

Last Tuesday was the scheduled day in Bozeman for chemo. Ron joined Gus and Gail on the golf course in the morning before our meeting with the doctor and Gus' infusion that afternoon.

Gus' white count was still low which concerned me. I have never seen the white count so low after Gus' recovery week of no chemo. The doctor explained that the bone marrow is just not able to recover as quickly after extended chemo treatments. Last summer and fall, the bone marrow was still chemo naive.

Gus is starting to deal with nausea again. He also is losing weight and we are really starting to be concerned. He is only 1 1/2 pounds above his lowest weight from last summer. We did come home from the doctors with some calorie rich drinks to try. Six hundred calories for 8 ounces.

I have been power walking with a friend. Her and I love to walk so some evenings we walk ten miles or more. I gained a pound the other night and Gus lost two. He has informed me that Gloria and I have to quit walking so far because he is losing too much weight as a result.

The results from the CA 19-9 were the only thing that is encouraging. Gus' count was 70 on July 14th and last Tuesday, the count was 61. So it had dropped some. We're hoping the chemo is starting to be effective.

The doctor is planning on one more cycle of chemo after this one and then doing another CT scan. So if everything goes as scheduled, the CT scan will be after September 1st. We are sure the doctor plans on continuing chemo after the test if Gus is still up to it.

Golfing in Dillon

Walt, Linda, Dick, Gus, Deb, Ron

(after the golf)

Gus on the Dillon golf course

Gus used his persuasion and charm to convince some friends they really needed to golf in Dillon last Monday. They had so much fun. Whenever Ron comes to town, Gus usually schedules some quality time chasing that illusive little white ball.

Ron asked Lane for advice before going golfing. After offering Ron his golf clubs, Lane's answer was the advice his grandpa gives him on the ninth hole where they love to golf.

1. Don't hit it in the tall grass.

2. Don't hit it in the pond.

3. Don't hit it on the hill because it will roll down into the pond.

Then Lane sighed and told Ron that is all he had to remember. Gus just wishes he could take his own advice sometimes.

Firewood

Scott, April, Phoenix, Kathleen, Gus

It was important to Gus to get firewood before his health got any worse. Getting firewood is part of his Montana dream and one of his favorite summer projects. Considering his wife would not let him go by himself anymore, he needed Scott's help.

So last Sunday, Scott, April, Gus and Scott's dog headed to the high country. I waited for our friend, Ron, to arrive and then he and I followed. Ron lives in Okinawa, Japan and Gus always has some "Project" that he needs help with when Ron is here. As you can tell by the picture, Gus was pleased with his load of firewood.

Last year, Gus was too ill to even lift a chainsaw. Some very special - caring friends provided our firewood.

Gus with the Old Works Golf Course in the background

Gus, Scott and April

Gus, Scott and April

Scott, April, Kathleen, Gus at the Old Works Golf Course

Golfing on Gus' Dream Course

Last week, April brainstormed and came up with the perfect gift for Gus during his week of no chemo . . . golfing on the "Old Works Golf Course" in Anaconda, MT. She did not know at the time that this was one of Gus' dreams for this summer. He wanted to practice all summer and then golf on the Old Works this fall. It is an extremely challenging golf course designed by Jack Nicklaus. Gus has never felt competent to golf there before.

The room couldn't contain Gus' smile when I told him the plans. The chance to be with three of his favorite people doing one of his favorite things meant so much. Yesterday, the four of us headed to Anaconda. My part in golfing is to always make sure Gus' golf cart stays balanced. Two sides -- two people.

Once again, God orchestrated the afternoon and evening for Gus. The weather was incredible and the chance to be on that course golfing was a dream come true. Gus made a consious effort not to count his golf balls ahead of time so he never had to count how many didn't come back with him. Life is too short to waste on the trivia.

Gus was exhausted when we got home last night, but he was so happy. I was sent an e-mail that quoted a Vivian Green. "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass . . . it’s about learning how to dance in the rain!" Last night, Gus danced in the rain.

Low Blood Counts

Gus had blood work done here in Sheridan last Tuesday, July 28. The results were then faxed to Bozeman which resulted in the doctor calling us to make us aware of how low the counts were. That is not good. We have never had a call from Bozeman informing us of the results of the blood work. I have had to always call them.

The platelets were their biggest concern. It is very low, but it was slightly lower last November. I was concerned with his absolute neutrophil count which is the white cells that fight infection. It is the lowest I have seen since starting this cancer walk thirteen months ago. Now we have dangerously low levels after only one cycle of chemo. Last year it took an entire four months of treatment to reach these low levels.

This is frightening to Gus because of his wife’s past history of becoming overly protective. He loves crowds of people and I keep him in solitary confinement at home. He is not allowed to find a new wife or home, either!

Golfing at Bridger Golf Course

Gus had an enjoyable day overall yesterday even though the afternoon was spent in the infusion room at the cancer center. He and a very special friend, Gail Fremont, played 9 holes of golf in the morning and then they went to lunch. Gail and Gus worked together 27 years ago in the Belgrade sawmill and have remained close friends through the years.

Gail and Gus have plans of spending many hours on the golf course this summer before Gus has his chemo infusion. We are desperate to find ways to lighten our Tuesdays and we appreciate so much Gail making time on the golf course important. He understands Gus' love of the game. I spent the morning visiting an elderly friend and then I met Gus at the cancer center.

One of our main questions to the oncologist yesterday was what he believed was causing the pain. Pancreatic cancer is one of the few cancers that have pain associated with it because the pancreas is located very close to a network of nerves called the celiac plexus. With a lack of any other evidence, he believes the pancreatic tumor is causing the pain.

The doctor doubled the pain medication that Gus takes in the evening. It has not been keeping him pain free throughout the night like we had hoped.

Gus rested on the way home yesterday and then went to bed and slept most of the evening. This is becoming a trend since he started chemo again. His blood counts are quite low after just one infusion. The absolute neutrophils are the lowest I have ever seen with Gus. The second infusion of each cycle usually affects the blood count more than the first infusion. Gus will get next week off so his immune system can recover and we will be doing blood work here in Sheridan.

On a lighter note, yesterday one of the nurses was giving a tour to a businessman. They were walking through the infusion room. When they passed Gus sitting in his recliner, she commented that this is the patient that saves other patients lives.

No More Being a Part of Haying

Gus had hopes of being able to stack hay bales for others this summer. It would give him something to do and give him a little spending money. We still had our stack wagon and tractor. A couple of weeks ago Gus listened to his inner feelings and decided to sell his stack wagon. He did not want anyone to be vulnerable to him if he was too sick to do the job. Last Sunday he sold the stack wagon and this man will stack the bales for the customers Gus had committed to. As lethargic and tired as Gus was last evening, he was so wise to have taken this step.

Our world is shaken again, but at least we are not dealing with the shock we experienced a year ago.

Golfing With Chemo

It was very difficult to drive to Bozeman. We had no desire to start this chemo walk again. Gus and I brainstormed on the drive to the cancer center how Gus could have the chemo infusion in the afternoon after spending the morning on the golf course...anything to lighten the day and give Gus something to look forward to. We will see how well Gus tolerates the chemo and hopefully we have the opportunity of coordinating his chemo infusions around golfing.

The pain continues to increase in intensity. We were given a prescription of oxycontin to try and control the pain better. With this new medicine, Gus will not have to get up during the night to take pain pills. Oxycontin is a long acting medicine so it will last for 12 hours. It will not take effect as quickly, though, so Gus will have to be more proactive and not wait until the pain starts to take his pain pills.

The CA 19-9 blood test taken last Tuesday in Bozeman was 70. The previous one taken from the same lab on June 2 was 41. The tumor marker is rising which makes Gus' decision to start chemo and not wait any longer a very wise choice.

Gus' Saving Moment

Last Tuesday was uneventful in the chemo infusion room other than Gus being a large part of saving an elderly woman’s life.

She and Gus were the only ones on one side of the infusion room. He was laid back trying to go to sleep when he realized she coughed and sounded odd. He sat up so he could check on her and realized she could not breathe. She was having an allergic reaction to her new chemo. The nurses were dealing with another patient having a blood transfusion and so they were preoccupied and nowhere close. There is a reason God gave Gus a loud voice when needed. Within seconds, he had the nurse’s attention and within minutes the room was filled with doctors and nurses doing immediate rescue procedures.

After the excitement had died down, the oncologist looked at Gus and offered to put Gus on the payroll. Two hours later we walked out of the infusion room beside this elderly woman. She was unsteady on her feet, but very appreciative to Gus.

Starting Chemo Again

Gus’ pain continues to get worse each day. Gus called the oncologist and all of us agree that it can only be the cancer that is causing the severe pain. The tumor has to be growing again. Gus will start his chemo tablet this Saturday and we will go to Bozeman next Tuesday for his chemo infusion. Once again, it will be two weeks of chemo and then one week of rest so the immune system can build itself back up. It will be the same routine that Gus followed earlier this year.

Gus had wanted to golf some time this week, but he does not even feel well enough today to try and go golfing. Gus and Lane golfed after the CT scan a week ago. Gus played very competitively even though he was in pain. It amazed me he could do so well when he felt so bad. Now, I am very glad he took the time that day.

Meeting With the Doctor

We met with the oncologist at the Bozeman Cancer Center this morning. He studied the CT scan, examined Gus thoroughly and spent time discussing Gus’ scan with the radiologist. The CT scan did not show any noticeable changes in the tumor, the liver looked clean and the lungs looked good. The only thing that the doctor saw that concerned him was fluid in the pelvic area. He had no clue what had caused it. The oncologist did notice that Gus has diverticulitis disease, but he did not feel that it was the source of the pain.

The oncologist wants to see Gus in three weeks hoping that during that time frame, something will manifest itself so we know what we’re fighting. We will have blood work done in Sheridan prior to meeting with the oncologist July 28.

Gus has no appetite so weight loss will quickly become a major factor again. Nothing appeals to him to eat. Except lemon pie!

Gus slept most of the way home from Bozeman and he went to bed as soon as we got home. Gus has to be sick to sleep during the day. He started taking his narcotic painkillers today. He hates to take them, but that is an excellent indication of how serious the pain is.

The day was disappointing because we received no answers for why Gus is experiencing the pain, yet it was encouraging that there are no obvious signs of active cancer. The doctor is very concerned which we appreciate. He mentioned that we might need to start the chemo again. We are not surprised.

Not Feeling Good

Gus has not felt very good lately. Eating has lost its appeal and as a result, Gus has lost almost 5 pounds. The CA 19-9 blood work taken in Sheridan last Tuesday, June 23 was 61. Their normal range is 37. The CA 19-9 has continued to rise since April 28th when it was 31 with Bozeman's levels of normal being 50. Gus has been experiencing pain in his abdomen and this morning he woke up to extreme back pain. We decided this morning to call the doctor and get the CT scan moved up instead of waiting until July 14. Gus will do a CT scan in Dillon in the morning. We do not know yet when we will see the oncologist for the results. Gus and I both wished we had more faith in CT scans than we do.

To keep all of this in perspective, Gus is doing more physically than he has since getting sick a year ago. He is in the process of painting the inside of our home and yesterday painted the cathedral ceiling in our living room. That would give any of us back pain. All the questionable signs we are seeing with Gus could have logical reasons. We just want to be on the cautious side if the cancer has become active again.

Throughout this walk, Gus has truly tried to live outside the darkness of cancer. That is why he has seized his moments every chance he got. He pushed himself on his golfing trip; he pushed himself on his walk in the Relay for Life, and he is pushing himself on painting. All of these were things he did not need to do, but things he wanted to do. Gus is an example to all of us on how we should live.

Pics of Relay

Cancer Survivors with Gus in Center Thumbs Up

Kathleen, Gus, Lindsey, Scott

Gus After 19 Hours of Relay

Gus' Relay Walk

TOTAL EXHAUSTION, BUT A HUGE SENSE OF ACHIEVEMENT best describes Gus' feelings and emotions today. Last night and this morning was the Relay for Life. Gus spent 19 hours at the Ennis track field participating in his first fundraising walk for cancer. He was overwhelmed when his goal to walk became reality.

JDL Construction, the team Gus, Lindsey, Scott and I walked with came in second for funds raised in this county relay. There were 23 teams involved. Gus appreciated so much everyone that donated money towards his dream of walking. We feel so blessed.

The Madison County Relay's goal was to raise $50,000.00 this year. Instead, they raised over $64,000.00! We loved being a part of that success.

One Year Later

One year ago today, we received the phone call that changed our lives. It was a call from the doctor with the results of the CT scan done earlier in the day. There were no illusions anymore that Gus was just sick and would be o.k.

To say it has been a year of struggles is an understatement. To say it has been easy would be a lie. What is no understatement though is how everyone has blessed us. I cannot imagine how we would have survived without our friends and loved ones helping us and praying for us.

Sitting here thinking back on the year, disbelief is utmost. A year ago, Gus could hardly eat, he was in pain and the prognosis was poor. He spent last summer either in a car, in the cancer center or sleeping in his bed. He could barely eat and was so thin.

Today, he is outside working and just enjoying being in his meadow. This is the longest stretch he has had and will have had without seeing a doctor or having treatment. God has really blessed us.

Doctor's Visit

We went to Bozeman yesterday for a routine check-up with the medical oncologist. Dr. Hensold was impressed with how good Gus looked and felt. Normally Dr. Hensold just visits with us, but yesterday he did a very thorough examination on Gus.

Gus had the CA 19-9 blood test redone yesterday in Bozeman. We should have those results by Friday. It is impossible to compare blood work done in Sheridan’s lab as opposed to blood work done in the Bozeman lab. It depends where those labs send their sample for testing as to what the standard “normal” range is. A normal level for Sheridan’s lab is 37 or lower for the CA 19-9. The normal level for Bozeman is 55 or lower. So when Gus’ last test was done a week ago in Sheridan and it was 50, we really did not know what to compare it with. Now with a test done in both locations, we will have a more accurate idea of the results each time.

The oncologist agreed with Gus that they will do no more chemo until there is a valid reason to start again. The next appointment is a CT scan on July 14, followed by meeting with the doctor on July 21 to get the results of the CT scan. They will continue to track Gus’ CA 19-9 every three weeks.

Gus’ latest endeavor or project is to paint the inside of our house. Our home is 17 years old and has never been repainted inside since we built it. We have spent all our energy through the years on the outside. I am going to get paint samples today and then this evening meet with a man that I have dealt with professionally for 15 years. His business is the one that painted the majority of beautiful homes JDL Construction has built through the years. JDL is the company Scott and I work for and the one Gus worked for in the past. Gus and I want and value this man's color scheme ideas.

I love it when Gus comes up with an idea where he does the work and I just enjoy the benefit.

Gus and Salty

This picture is of Gus and Salty’s first official ride. Gus is riding Salty every chance he gets. The horse seems to have a quiet disposition, which is essential when older people ride young green-broke horses.

When Lindsey came up with this crazy idea for her father’s Christmas present, I begrudgingly was a part of it. It was the greatest gift we could have given Gus. He has loved that horse since the moment he met Salty on a cold December night. It was 15 below and the night before we headed to Seattle for surgery. Last night after riding, Gus told me “It just feels so good on Salty”.

Gus’ and my goal is to load our horses in the horse-trailer and drive to the mountains to ride as often as possible this summer. We live in a piece of heaven and we have never spent as much time as we would have liked enjoying it. There was always too much work waiting for us on the ranch.

Gus has golfed twice since coming home from his trip. Thursday, he golfed with an 89 year old man who he had never met before. Gus stomped him pretty bad. If the elderly gentleman had stomped Gus pretty bad, I would have kept that information to myself and never shared it on the blog.

Last Tuesday, Gus had another CA 19-9 blood test. This time it was higher. The test result was 50. We are not overly concerned that it is 19 points higher than the one done April 28. What the number is on the next test will probably mean more. We have an appointment on June 2 with the oncologist, so we will know his feelings on the test results.

Gus' Goal

Last year, Gus saw this article in the newspaper. He cut it out and wrote across it. “Next Year I Walk!! He dated it 7/27/08. At this point in his cancer walk, he had the PIC line in and he had received two chemo treatments. This cutout has hung on the wall in his office for 10 months. To fulfill his desire, three of us (Lindsey, Gus and I) will be walking in the Relay for Life on June 26th. It is a fundraiser for finding the cure for cancer, so if any of you would like to support Gus financially, we would really appreciate it. We have to have the donations prior to June 26th.

Trip Wrap-Up

Gus called Thursday night very disappointed because he and Gary never found one golf course along the Columbia River Gorge. They had finally stopped about 3 ½ hours south of Spokane for the night. Gus, Gary and Gus’ friend, Dave Browning, did have some quality time at the Sutherlin golf course on Wednesday, though. They played 18 holes on a very beautiful course.

Wednesday evening, Gus went and visited his old boss in Roseburg, OR. Wayne has always been one of Gus’ oldest and dearest friends for the past 37 years. He helped whether Gus needed a job, a place to stay, some help, or just some good advice. Since Gus lost his father when he was only 14 years old, Wayne was the father figure in Gus’ life. This visit, Wayne could not remember who Gus was. It was a very emotional evening for Gus.

They stayed in Spokane last night, and then Gus will start for home early this morning. His arrival to his beloved meadow will be none too soon for me. I have a very hard time not being able to monitor Gus’ well-being. I am like his oncologist. Gus cannot just tell us how he feels, we have to see him and know everything is o.k.

Gus called last night. They played nine holes Friday morning in Umatilla, OR and then drove to Spokane and played another 18 holes. It was a beautiful day and they had plenty of time. Gus made some calculations in his head and he has played 99 holes of golf in his 11 days. By the time he gets home, he will have driven almost 2,650 miles.

Gus in Redmond May 16, 2009

Gus arrived in Seattle Friday morning and immediately looked around for a golf course. Imagine that.

Gus spent his week-end watching grandson Grayson play baseball, visiting friends and relatives, and golfing with T.J. and Gary, his friend from Nebraska. Gus has been limiting himself to nine holes of golf each day just to make sure he didn't overdo. But on Sunday, he unleashed his full power and played 18 holes. Rumor has it his son beat him on the golf course for the first time ever and it was quite a significant difference. It wasn't fair that T.J. threw in those "birdies" and "pars" to keep his score down. Gus was very pleased with his score when he played in Spokane. It was the best he had played for years.

Gus enjoyed his time so much in Seattle, but this morning he and Gary headed south to Oregon. They will end up in Roseburg, OR for a couple of days before heading home the Columbia River Gorge route. I asked Gus if there were any golf courses along the Columbia and he just laughed. That could explain why it is going to take he and Gary three days to drive what Gus and I used to drive in several hours.

Golfing with Gus

Gus is now on his long awaited vacation. The weather hasn't been great, but that hasn't dampened his joy on the golf course in the least. He golfed in St. Regis, MT on Monday, Coeur d'Alene on Tuesday and today he is golfing in Spokane. Tomorrow he golfs in Ellensburg, WA.

A year ago, Gus proposed to the Montana Historic Society in Helena drastic measures in order to win a grant for restoring our old barn. He wanted to dismantle the old part, pour footings and walls, then rebuild using as much of the original material as possible. We were awarded the grant based on Gus' aggressive plan. Two weeks later, our world fell apart and Gus got sick. There was no way he could do the work. I couldn't accept the grant, yet I refused to let it go.

A friend of ours who is also a co-worker of mine offered to help us see it through. Brian met Gus last June, two days before we flew to Seattle, and Gus shared his ideas and goals for the barn. Throughout these past 10 months, Gus was a part of the work days on the barn whenever he felt well enough. He was active enough to still feel a part of the project. The first part of April, Brian and his volunteers had finished the hard part and all that was left was to put the walls back up and finish the inside. At this point, Gus felt well enough to finish the project himself. He finished it on April 20th, 5 weeks before our deadline. These pictures show the "rustic" look and the "restored" look. You can see what Gus did with his spare time this spring and what Brian did with his days off for the last several months.

Before

The Finished Project

May 4th Update

We did meet with the main medical oncologist last Tuesday, April 28th. The CT Scan was clear with no signs of cancer in the lungs or liver. It even looked as if the tumor has shrunk since the CT Scan in January. Gus and I left the doctor's office feeling quite pleased with life right now. The doctor did not agree with our choice of no visits to Bozeman, however. He wants to see Gus on a monthly basis, so we are scheduled for a doctor's visit on June 2. That is still a huge improvement since last summer when Gus made the trip daily.

Gus had another CA 19-9 done last Tuesday and this time the number was 31. Gus feels so good right now and is getting so much accomplished. He is exhausted at night, but still the rewards of being out there getting dirty is balm to his soul. His hands are bruised and dirty just like the old days. Sometimes we almost forget the shadow that hangs over our life because of how good it is right now. One of Gus' hunting buddies feels Gus should be buying lottery tickets because of his ability to beat the odds.

Gus and Lane just headed to Dillon to the driving range at the golf course. They have been putting all morning into the little plastic cup at home and now they are ready for more excitement. Gus has not spent as much time practicing as Lane so it really is not a fair match.

April 23, 2009 Update - He is a blessing to everyone

No More Chemo!

Gus made that decision Monday when he talked to the doctor. He was scheduled for one more cycle starting this Saturday, but Gus deals with fatigue as well as other side effects when he is on chemo. Gus and I both want him to have the strength and ability to golf daily on his trip if that is his desire. Now this gives him three weeks of no treatment so he can build up his endurance.

Gus did have another CT Scan done last Tuesday. This was his seventh. We will meet with the doctor next Tuesday to hear the results. Neither one of us are concerned because Gus feels so good.

Gus did buy his new set of golf clubs and yes he has been borrowing Lane's plastic cup to practice his putting in the house. His new set of clubs are Adams Idea. Yesterday, he golfed for the first time this year and even birdied his last hole. Gus didn't like to discuss how he did on the other holes so we can all just assume not so good. He has no strength in his upper body and so struggles in driving the ball very far. There is not much flexibility in his shoulders, either.

When I look at my husband and acknowledge the fact that he has walked this path for over 10 months and during that time he has known the depth of despair, the pain of loss, and yet has found joy wherever he could, I am in awe. He is a blessing to everyone.

April 17, 2009 Ca 19-9 Update

Another Incredible Praise Report!

Gus' CA 19-9 is now 34!

Gus and I are both aware that one of these times we will see an increase in the numbers, but for right now we are cherishing every moment. I was in such shock when the doctor called yesterday that I even made her repeat what she told me. I would place a bet that my CA 19-9 is higher than Gus' now. We feel so blessed. Thank you for all those prayers.