Gus' 61st Birthday Pics

Billie Jo, T.J. and Grayson

Gus and Grayson

Cammie, Gus, T.J. on Gus' birthday

Kathleen's Reflections

I have personally wanted to know when Gus' tumor stopped growing and the healing started. To many this moment would not be important, but to me it was. Half way through the weeks of radiation, Gus and I learned that the radiation could not touch that tumor and stop it. All we could think was why then are we doing this. Gus felt horrible and was so sick. We did not share this information with others because the knowledge was too painful to us.

During the four months of treatment, Gus had his blood drawn for a CA 19-9 test. It is a tumor marker test for pancreatic cancer. The radiology oncologist did his best to discourage us whenever we asked for one to be done. He did not want us to get our hopes up as this is not a very accurate test for some people. Gus had this test done five times. The first time was June 16th and Gus' count was 475. Normal is anything below 37. All through treatment, Gus' counts continued to rise. On October 14th, eleven days after Gus had his last radiation, the fourth CA 19-9 test was done and the count was 604.

The fifth and final CA 19-9 was done on November 4, the day Gus started chemo again. This time it was 254! I went back on the blog today to see what that time frame between October 14th and November 4th held. I want each of you to go back and read what I wrote on November 3rd after Gus had come home from his hunting trip. After he had been on HIS mountaintop.

Dec 30th Update

It has taken an entire week to get an answer from the medical oncologist's office as to our appointment in Seattle. It took getting the surgeon involved today to get a response from Dr. Whiting, the oncologist. There is no opening for Monday or Tuesday, but they could get us in on Thursday, January 8th. Gus will still have the 22 staples removed from the incision on Tuesday. He refuses to wait until Thursday to get the staples out.

Beau will fly Scott, April and myself to Everett early Wednesday morning, then fly all four of us home late Friday or Saturday morning. We have to be home by Saturday night. The four of us have a company prime rib dinner and Gus has every intention of being there.

The surgeon e-mailed me the picture that was taken of Gus' tumor and the official pathology report. Neither one makes any sense to me, but I forwarded them on to T.J. so he could present the tumor picture to his father on his birthday. Today was Gus' 61st birthday.

I apologize that I cannot understand the pathology report and share what it says. It might as well be written in a foreign language. I e-mailed it to my sister and both of us are still at a loss. The important thing is the medical oncologist will have it in plenty of time to read it. I could understand it enough to know that cancer is still present even if it is limited. The battle is not over yet.

Gus has been Sprung

Gus was discharged from the hospital late Tuesday afternoon. 

At the University of Washington Hospital there is a team for everything. The pain team disconnected the epidural, the resident team disconnected the drainage tube from the incision site, and the nurse disconnected the central line. It took two days to get everything disconnected. It was almost comical. 

One of the things we were not aware of earlier is that Gus is required to give himself a daily injection of blood thinner in the fat of his abdominal muscles. Only problem is he does not have any fat there. Needles don’t bother him. He just cannot see what he is doing. If you see band-aids all over his left hand it is because he cannot see where the needle is going.

Doctor Whiting, the medical oncologist will meet with Gus the same day that Dr. Park is seeing Gus again. It will be on Tuesday January 6th. We are excited to meet with Dr. Whiting so soon. 

Dr. Park stopped by just to say goodbye to Gus as we were leaving the hospital yesterday. I think Gus is more than just a patient to him. 

Sunday Update

After visiting with Dr. Park on Saturday afternoon, Gus questioned him about the pathologist statement that he rarely had seen a pancreatic tumor respond to treatment like Gus’. We were wrong. The Pathologist had NEVER seen a pancreatic tumor respond like this in all his years of practice and he is an older man. 

The samples of the tumor are now undergoing very extensive test to see exactly what is present. The test results will take six to seven days. 

My sister, Lynne, made the suggestion that while Gus is in Seattle he should get a 2nd opinion from a medical Oncologist who deals with pancreatic cancer all the time. Dr. Park was in total agreement and he wants Gus to see Dr. Samuel Whiting who specializes in pancreatic cancer. This will mean that Gus will stay in Seattle longer. Gus will be staying with his son T.J. and family. 

Right now it looks like Gus will be dismissed from the hospital on Tuesday. I will bring him back with me to the hotel where we will stay until Saturday. T.J. will then pick us up on Saturday and take me to the Airport and take his dad home with him.

12/20/08 Update - Day after Surgery

To say that yesterday was a frustration is an understatement.

Actual surgery did not start until 5:30pm. I only knew that because the nurse I had met called to say she was going home and who the new nurse was. She said the new nurse would keep me updated. Three hours later I received a phone call telling me they were starting to close Gus up, and the Doctor would come see me.

Dr Park spent at least 45 minutes with Cammie, TJ and I describing what he had seen. The tumor was very large and had encased the major artery and vessels much more than any of the tests had shown. In all probability, it was a high grade tumor.

Instead of just calling it quits, Dr Park chose to chip away at the tumor encasing the hepatic artery and send samples to pathology. A well known and highly regarded pathologist had stayed just to assist Dr Park and his surgical team. To everyone’s amazement the sample had no viable abnormal cells. It was fibrosis, which is just scar tissue.

Twice they sent samples to pathology with no abnormal cells found. The third sample did show miniscule spots. It took a high powered microscope to detect them. The pathologist in his years of experience had rarely seen such a positive response to chemo and radiation.

The goal we had been praying for was a successful, 100% removal of the tumor. This was not possible due to its size and involvement of vital blood vessels and arteries. However Dr Park was very pleased with the dramatic response of the tumor to treatment. There was no advantage to Gus’ well being to remove the part of the pancreas affected or the spleen. It would have jeopardized him at this time. Surgery will never be an option in the future.

The goal now is to get Gus walking and eating so he can go home to heal. Then he will start more chemo in three to four weeks. The exact regiment we will follow will be up to the medical oncologist in Bozeman. Once Dr Park releases Gus he will no longer be a part of our lives.

After meeting with Dr Park last night, Cammie, TJ and I could not even put into words our thoughts. We had started our day knowing that there were two options: The tumor was beyond controlling and could not be removed or there was enough scar tissue to give the surgeon the margin he needed to successfully remove the tumor. We ended the day being told that the tumor was more involved than tests had revealed, but that the cancerous cells were all but gone. What was left was so minute the pathologist could not even say for sure if the spots were malignant.

It was two o’clock in the morning before the nurse had Gus completely admitted to his private room in the Hospital. He and I both got about 3 ½ hours sleep with only two interruptions.

They have had Gus up already this morning. They had him sit in a chair and they stood him up to weigh him.

We’re still waiting to see Dr Park sometime today.

We praise God for what He has done. We look forward to what He has in store for us in the future. We continue to covet your prayers that God’s will be done. Gus is in His hands.

Gus is out of Surgery

Kathleen just called at approximately 10:00 pm.  Gus is out of surgery and in the recovery room. He most likely will not go to ICU. They did not remove any of the pancreas or spleen. They did remove about 70 % of the tumor. There was strong evidence that the tumor had responded dramatically to the chemo and radiation in a positive sense. Gus will go directly from recovery to his room. More details will be posted tomorrow. 

Gus went to surgery at 4:15 PM

Kathleen called and said that Gus went to surgery at about 4:15 PM. The Delay was an emergency of some type that needed the operating room. The doctor is refreshed and ready to perform the surgery. It will be about 4 hours to complete the surgery. Please pray for a very successful surgery and for comfort for Kathleen and family waiting in the waiting room. It has been a long day. 

I will keep posting updates as I get them from Kathleen

A Quick update

Kathleen just called (1:45 pm) to let me know that Gus had just gone into Pre-Op. The hospital is running slow and is behind in their schedule. With this slowdown, Gus will be out of surgery about 6 this evening. I will update the blog as soon as I can with new information. 

Please keep Gus (and Kathleen in your prayers).

Thanks, Ed Bartley 

Surgery Update

 

We received a call from the Surgeon at Midnight last night telling us that the surgery had been moved to noon due to the weather. The hospital staff had failed to notify us of the change. 

We will be checking into the hospital at 9:30 this morning.

Surgery is Scheduled

Surgery is scheduled for 7:20 Friday morning. 

Gus is the 1^st one which really pleases us. 

The storm that has paralyzed the Seattle area has not affected the University of Washington hospital. They are still on schedule. 

The Surgical procedure is called “Distal pancreactectomy” and they will also do a “Splenectomy.” The surgery is to last around 4 hours. 

Wednesday Update in Seattle 12/17/2008

We are in Seattle and preparing for surgery.   We met with the surgeon today (Wednesday) and after he discussed the pros and cons, he then asked Gus if he still wanted the surgery.  There was no hesitancy on Gus’ part.   Absolutely, let’s do it!  Dr. Park smiled, stood up and told Gus he would see him on Friday. 

The surgery will last approximately 4 hours and we are still waiting to hear the time. When we get the surgery time we will update it here first.

The weather in Seattle was getting to be a concern when we talked with our pilot Sunday evening. We had Christmas Monday evening with Linda and Marian and the kids. When we started opening presents, Gus got a new halter, and then a saddle pad.  Then he was told he had to put his coat on to go out to get his next present.  Lindsey had found a four year old Appaloosa for Gus. He has always wanted an appaloosa horse.  

We had a wonderful evening and dinner. Just when dinner was finished, Gus got a call from our pilot saying that to make sure we could get to Seattle we better leave on Tuesday.  We had a great flight and everything was perfect.  Some places got several inches of snow here today.  God is good!!!!

Update Dec 10, 2008 Surgery is Scheduled

Gus just talked to Seattle.  Surgery is scheduled for Friday December 19th!  He is to be there on Wednesday, December 17th. 

 

We are overwhelmed  by how everything has fallen into place.   The bulls went to their new owner last Monday.  The first calf heifers go to their new owner this Friday.  The cows are sold, just won't be delivered till after the first of the year.  Everything that could be taken care of has been.   Now we need to get mentally ready. 

Dec 10, 2008 Update

Last night we finally received the phone call we have been waiting for from the surgeon in Seattle.  After several phone calls last Friday, we discovered Bozeman had never sent the test results to Seattle.  They did send them though after Gus' irate phone calls got their attention. 

 

Dr. Park, the surgeon in Seattle, does not highly recommend surgery, but he will do it if that is what Gus desires.   Gus' liver and lymph nodes look good, the tumor seems to have shrunk slightly and the tumor will never be more operable than it is right now.  No amount of chemo will make things better.   Radiation is not even an option because Gus has already received the maximum amount that part of the body can tolerate.  What causes the doctor concern is the same area that kept it from being operable in the beginning.   The tumor partly encases vital blood vessels.   The worst thing that could happen is if the surgeon has to end the surgery without completing it.  Then it would mean a month before Gus could withstand chemo and that is a vital month Gus would lose when he needed treatment.

 

Gus asked Dr. Park the prognosis if he chose no surgery.  The answer was 6 months to a year survival.  If you have a successful surgery, the prognosis is 5 years. 

 

The earliest the hospital is scheduling surgery is January 18th, but Dr. Park would get Gus in earlier if Gus chooses to have the surgery.   Additional tests were not even mentioned.  

 

Gus and I had to work through a lot of emotions and thoughts last night.  It reminded me of the night last June when we received the phone call telling us what we were dealing with.   There is just not enough oxygen in the room.   After a couple of hours of weighing the options, Gus and I are leaning towards surgery.  Life is filled with risks, but if we don't take the risk of surgery, we definitely lose.

 

Gus feels so good it is hard for him to believe there is a tumor inside him trying to make him sick.  His prayer from the first day has been "MAKE THIS OPERABLE".   We serve a mighty GOD and believe HE has answered our prayer.  We thank each of you for praying with us and know you will continue as we go forward with whatever we decide. 

 

December 2, 2008 Update #2

One of the things on Gus' "bucket list" was to guide Scott on a trophy whitetail hunt.  On Thanksgiving day, this was accomplished from our kitchen window via a cell phone.  This buck scores in the 160 to 170 range.  For those who aren't hunters, it takes about a 170 plus to make the record books.

 

Gus read an article in an agriculture paper about "The Bucket List" right before he went to hunting camp.  He then had to share the article with his hunting partners the first night in camp.  We had heard of the movie, but had not watched it.   When Gus came home from hunting camp, we rented the movie and loved it.  It is definitely something we could not have watched earlier in this cancer walk.   If you haven't seen it, we recommend you watch it with someone you love holding your box of kleenex. 

December 2, 2008 Update

Gus and I are having difficulty containing our joy.   The CAT scan showed no visible growth in the tumor on the pancreas and the liver still looks normal.  Of course, we would love to have had no tumor, but it is still the same size as it was in June.  That is a victory in itself.  Our doctor in Bozeman feels part of the exterior of the tumor might just be residual.  He was not about to make a judgment call on whether or not surgery will be possible.  A very wise man.   He was sending the scan results to Seattle by the fastest method.  The surgeon in Seattle, Dr. Parks, has been the one calling the shots from the start and he will be the one to decide the next step once he reviews the CAT scan.  We are hoping to get a phone call from him by the end of the week with what that step will be. 

 

The Bozeman doctor was encouraged, but he based his feelings on how Gus was doing by looking at Gus as much as looking at the CAT scan.   The fact Gus has no pain after having severe enough pain to be on a narcotic pain killer impresses the doctor the most.  

 

Gus was brave enough to ask the doctor what the options are if surgery is not possible.  We can either wait until symptoms appear then start chemo or we can do chemo as preventative before symptoms start.   It would be three weeks of chemo then a week off.    Basically what he just went through these last three weeks of treatment.  There will not be any radiation again.  For that we are thankful.   Gus tolerates the gemzar chemo with very little side effects. 

 

Gus is finally gaining weight to the point where he is now trying to remember old rules on maintaining weight, not gaining weight.  For about six weeks, he got to enjoy eating everything he wanted.  But all good things must end.  Tonight he is eating an apple instead of his beloved bowl of ice cream.  He has gained almost 14 pounds and is now looking very good.  

 

Gus did try to have a foot race with Lane and that put him in pain, so he still is limited on how fast he can move.  He is splitting firewood to build his upper body back up.   Gus is also walking each day if possible.

 

We never remembered to ask the doctor about the blood pressure yesterday, but no one seems concerned about it.  There were no blood tests yesterday, but last Wednesday the levels were looking good.   As we left the cancer center yesterday, a nurse approached us and asked if we needed to schedule another appointment.  With smiles ear to ear, we said "No Thanks". 

Gus, Lane, Lindsey  11-14-2008

Yesterday was not without its opportunities, but the most important part was accomplished.  Gus received his 3rd and final chemo!  His platelets had to be 50 or more to receive any chemo.  His were 51.  Last week his count was 83 which is low.   We knew it was going to be lower this week, but we never guessed this low.  It will be very interesting to see what the blood count is next week. 

 

The doctor did not meet with us and so could not answer our questions as we look to the future.   That was a huge disappointment because we had a list of questions.   The doctor should be calling Gus Thursday to answer them. 

 

It took the infusion room an hour and a half to get Gus started on his chemo.   They had a new druggist who was very slow at getting the medication prepared for the nurses to administer it.   Gus also was given a flu shot which he has not had one for 35 years or more.  The last one made him so sick he had no desire to ever repeat the experience.  He is really going to be mad if this one makes him sick.  He is just getting over a cold that he has had for 10 days. 

 

The one symptom that he is experiencing that no one can answer is his blood pressure continues to drop.   Hopefully when the doctor calls Gus to answer our questions, he will have some insight as to what is going on.   For several weeks Gus has dealt with dizziness when he stands up.   He just always has to use caution.

 

The most positive thing for Gus is his appetite.  Food tastes so good and he no longer has to be cautious on how much he eats.  He truly loves the thought of food again.   There is still no significant weight gain, but he is no longer losing weight which is a blessing.

 

The next scheduled event is a CAT scan on Wednesday, November 26th in Bozeman.  The purpose of this one is to analyze how effective treatment has been.  We will not know the results until Monday, December 1st.   We still are cautious in believing this CAT scan can make the diagnosis on whether or not the tumor is operable.  

 

Gus and I watched the movie "The Bucket List" several nights ago.  It was thought provoking and we enjoyed it very much.  Yesterday, Gus and I were joking about what was on our bucket lists.  (That is what happens when you have too much time in a chemo room.)  Gus' main one is to travel.  I could not believe it.  After some quick calculations, I pointed out to him that he has traveled over 10,000 miles since June.   That was a sobering thought.

After no treatments for most of the month of October, it was very hard for Gus to drive to Bozeman Tuesday, November 4th.  Now nine days later, he has received two of the three final chemo infusions.  What kept him going yesterday was the knowledge that there is only one chemo session left.  His blood count was down yesterday to the point the nurse felt sure the doctor would not proceed with the chemo.   This was not pleasing to us because we want an end to this four month treatment session and we want to stay on schedule.  The doctor did choose to proceed, but it is because with the gemzar they are allowed to adjust the dosage.  Gus only received 75% of the scheduled dose.  He was done in an hour and we were headed home.   Once we got home, Gus went to bed while the rest of us moved the cows to fresh pasture.  This is the lowest I have seen Gus' white count and platelets.   The numbers are not low enough to cause concern, just caution.

 

Last Sunday, all of our calves left on semi-trucks headed for Minnesota.   Gus was a big part of the physical work this time.  He ran the gate for sorting and made sure everything was on schedule.  It was very taxing to his strength, but worth every moment to him.  This is a very important day to us.  Our entire year of ranch work is all for this day when we sell the calves.  It was an emotional day for Gus knowing he would never be shipping his calves again, but it was a huge relief to me to have that commitment behind us.   This last month has been very labor intensive keeping the calves healthy and alive.   Pneumonia can kill a calf within hours.  Last year we lost two calves right before shipping from pneumonia.  This year we never even saw any signs of pneumonia.  We were blessed.  Now our focus will turn towards finding a good home for our cows.  

 

The Hunting Trip

On the skyline behind Gus is what they call "The Notch".  This is the area where they hunt.

Gus' view as he sat in the meadow each day

Gus sitting in his meadow

These are the four guys that made Gus' week possible.  Scott (behind the horse), Dennis, Les, and Matt

Close up of Scott, Dennis, Les, and Matt

Scott and Gus

The Camp

Gus had the perfect week on his mountaintop.  The weather was incredible.  Gus did not even need the majority of the warm clothes we had gotten.  The road was dry to where they park the trucks and dry as they drove out one week later.  That fact alone was rare in all these years.  Gus and Scott neither one fired a shot.  That was not the purpose of their trip this year.  The other three men each got their elk.  

 

Gus felt so good and even gained one pound.   For the first couple of mornings, Scott would take his dad and his dad's horse to the meadow where Gus would spend the day.  The first morning, Gus rode the horse and Scott walked.  The second morning, Gus felt so good he asked Scott to ride the horse and he wanted to walk.  Gus always needed the horse to get back to camp at the end of the day.   The uphill climb was too much for Gus.  The horse got to spend the day tied to a tree while Gus spent the day reading, visiting or just savoring the moment.  

 

As the men were driving out Saturday morning to come home, they looked behind them and the sky was black.  The storm was moving in.  It has been storming ever since. 

 

There is no doubt in our minds how God orchestrated this week for Gus.   It could not have been more blessed.  Tuesday, November 4th, Gus starts chemo again and our lives shift back into reality. 

October 23, 2008 Update

Gus is thoroughly enjoying life right now.  Every waking moment is spent planning his week in the mountains.  The five guys will leave this Saturday and won't return until the following Saturday, November 1st.  Last Monday when we were in Bozeman, Gus went to the new sports store in town.  He left the store with every heat-producing item they could offer.  Boots, gloves, pants, thermals, electric socks, etc.  This could easily qualify as the most expensive recreational week of my life.

Gus also had his appointment with the medical oncologist on Monday.  The blood work looked good and the doctor was very pleased with how well Gus looked and how good he felt.  Right now, Gus is not taking any medication.  He has no pain or nausea.  His self-appointed nurse will make sure, though, that all medications are included in his pack before he leaves on Saturday.

Gus went golfing in Dillon with a friend last Friday.  No golf carts were available so they walked.  Gus was able to complete six holes of golf before he needed to quit.  This is an incredible improvement.  Just a few short weeks ago, Gus could hardly walk to the end of our driveway to get the newspaper.

Realistically, this will be Gus’ last time to go to hunting camp.  Gus and I both know that.  It is a very physically demanding week even when a person is healthy.  Gus would not be going to hunting camp if Scott was not going.  Scott has the ability and the strength to get his father there and get him home, no matter what the circumstances.  Scott has never been allowed to take a week off during hunting season before.  Other employees with more seniority have that privilege.  This year, no one would deny Scott the time off.  Everyone wanted Gus’ dream to become reality one more time.

It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.
                                                                                                                                       By Elisabeth Kubler-Ross  

October 13, 2008 Update

It has been 10 days since Gus had any radiation-chemo treatments. As of the last couple of days, he is starting to feel great. The medicine is once again controlling the nausea, his stomach feels normal and food tastes wonderful. Gus felt so good this week-end that he spent several hours hunting pheasants with Scott, April, Lindsey and John (Lindsey's friend). Gus went pheasant hunting again today and walked a couple of miles. Gus' feet have quit hurting and he is back in his cowboy boots again. The yeast infection is gone.

The only negative thing Gus is still struggling with is his weight. Even though he is eating normal, the numbers on the scales keep dropping. He has lost almost forty pounds since starting this walk. We never dreamed there would be a day when we rejoiced because Gus gained weight. We can't wait now for that day to come.

Gus has not felt this good since last May. His smile is contagious and everyone is enjoying being around him. Life is so good right now.

Picture of Gus and Scott taken this summer.

October 6, 2008 Update

Gus' last day of radiation went great last Friday.  He had his first radiation at 10:00 and then we immediately drove to where they would remove the PIC line and the chemo pump.  Taking the PIC line out was simple.   I had to sign when we took the chemo pump seven weeks ago and I made sure they signed that they got it back.  Our lunch of Chinese food tasted really good to Gus and he ate a good sized meal.  His 33^rd and final radiation was at 4:00 in the afternoon.  He hugged everyone he could and walked out of the cancer center with a huge smile.  

He hardly slept in the car coming home and even felt good enough that evening to be a part of moving the cows and calves the six miles to our place so we could wean the calves the next morning.   

Saturday Gus came and went enough in the corrals to keep us all on track.   He feels a little better each day and wants to start walking and building his strength back up.   Gus never did get as sick as I expected for having a double dose of radiation in one day.  Of course, he wears a nausea patch all the time and takes nausea pills also.   We look forward to the nausea being just a bad memory from the past.  

 

The soles of Gus’ feet are still tender so he only can wear tennis shoes right now, but that will improve.  The yeast infection on his arm is steadily getting better now that it is exposed to the air and medication.  Gus looks good for what he has been through.  None of the medical professionals believed he could pull off 7 weeks of radiation with the schedule of driving back and forth each day.   Gus’ fear was that they would decide to do more radiation treatments, so he asked them.  They had given him the maximum number of treatments possible and didn’t dare add anymore on.  That was a relief.

 

Gus and I have both seen how important our attitude is in this walk.  Our faith is the only thing that keeps us going when the shadows and doubt come.

September 30, 2008

What a roller coaster our lives are right now.  There was good and bad yesterday at the doctor's appointments.  Gus had lost 8 pounds in a week.  He is not able to keep anything down that has calories in it.   Part of the weight loss is dehydration so they escorted him to the infusion room and gave him fluids through his PIC line for two hours.   We had so looked forward to this part of the radiation being easier on him.  For the majority of people, it would have been.   With Gus, there was not that dramatic a change in how large the field was that is still being treated.   We are trying a nausea patch that is placed behind the ear hoping to get the upper hand on his upset stomach.  This is easily the fifth medication for nausea Gus has tried. 

 

Gus convinced his radiology oncologist into allowing him to have two radiation treatments this Friday and that would complete his 33 treatments.  Then he convinced his medical oncologist into taking the PIC line out the same day.   We already knew that when radiation stopped, the continuous infusion pump would also be removed.   We hadn't decided what to do with the PIC line, but because of the yeast infection under the dressing, the PIC line needs to go.  The yeast infection was much better, but still an opportunity for us.  As we were leaving Bozeman, Gus did finally ask if I agreed with removing the PIC.   Of course, I agree.  In his defense, he knew me well enough to know my silence while he was giving his presentation to the doctors was my agreement with his decision.   So, Gus will have a tough day on Friday, but he will come home with his freedom.

 

All that is left to complete this cycle of treatment is the three chemo infusions which are done once a week.  Because hunting season occurs in the middle of those scheduled treatments, the doctor decided to not start any of them until Gus is back from hunting camp.   His first treatment will be November 4th, the second November 11th, and the final one November 18th.   A CAT scan is scheduled for November 26th in Bozeman to determine the success of the chemo/radiation.  We will meet the doctor on December 1st for the results of the CAT scan. 

 

Gus will have almost the entire month of October with no trips to Bozeman.   You can only imagine what that means to us right now.   This last stage of chemo is what will affect his blood count so much.  It is a huge relief to me that he will not be going to hunting camp with low blood counts.   Gus and I both know that going to hunting camp is not a practical choice, but for Gus, it is the only choice.  Living every moment to the fullest is of utmost importance to both of us right now.

Yesterday was a difficult day for us. The soles of Gus' feet are starting to hurt from the chemo.  That is one of the side effects we were warned about.  The hospital was running almost an hour late on the CAT scan and then the technician had difficulty getting the IV started in Gus' arm for the scan.  

After the CAT scan, we met with the oncology doctor and he wanted to move the PIC line into Gus' right arm because of the yeast infection on his left.  After 6 days of taking the antifungal medicine, the yeast is worse than ever.  We only have to have that PIC line for two more weeks so we did not want to go to the emergency room and go through that procedure again.    Gus was keeping his composure and co-operating with whatever the doctor wanted to do.  I was not.  It was the first time since starting the 3½ month chemo-radiation treatment plan that I was ready to quit traditional medicine. I questioned the doctor about just discontinuing the chemo infusion so we didn't need that PIC line, but of course he wants to run the full regimen of the 5-FU with the radiation.   

What gave us temporarily a reprieve is the nurses who take care of the PIC line had one more trick up their sleeves.  They have a dressing that allows the skin to breathe under that bandage.   Also Gus and I did our reading last night and discovered that one of the medicines he is on reduces the effects of the antifungal drug.   Our prayer is that between the different dressing on the PIC and not taking his two medicines at the same time, the yeast infection will be controlled and the PIC line can stay where it is.  

Gus realized afterwards just how upset he had been and he just didn't let his emotions surface until we were by ourselves.   We just sat in the cancer unit waiting room for awhile until we both had the strength to face our walk again.  

 

On our way home from Bozeman, we stopped and visited our Amish friends outside of Whitehall.   We realized we needed the simple beauty they could offer us.   After a couple of hours, we came away refreshed and renewed.   It is beautiful to see the love and respect this man has for Gus.  We plan on going back in a couple of weeks for a meal and taking Scott and April with us.  Their boys love to be with Scott and Scott loves to be with them.  One of our fun memories is going to the Amish community dinner and the sons would compete to see who could serve Scott the quickest.   The younger ones had to keep working and taking care of other customers, while the older ones could sit with Scott and visit. 

September 19, 2008 Update

Gus had an appointment with a dermatologist Thursday, September 18th.  The red, angry looking spots on Gus' hands, arms, and the top of his head were pre-cancerous areas reacting to the 5-FU chemo drug.  The doctor conferred with the medical oncologist and they chose to deal with the spots.  The dermatologist spent over 30 minutes burning all the areas.  When I asked Gus how many spots, he replied "too many to count".   In the past, doctors used the 5-FU chemo drug for women with breast cancer and their skin would react the same way.   Also, 5-FU is usually the ointment prescribed by doctors for pre-cancerous spots and is just applied to the skin to kill the abnormal cells.  Partly what we are dealing with is the skin of a redhead that reacts to everything. 

 

Gus also now has a yeast infection under the dressing for the PIC line.  As discouraged as we get with all the opportunities right now, we are thankful for prescriptions that can kill that yeast and for the trained nurse that immediately realized what she was dealing with.  The area on his forearm was just beginning to itch. 

 

The radiology department is performing another CAT scan on Gus this coming Monday, September 22nd.  It is to determine the exact location of the tumor for when they confine the radiation to just the tumor and no longer the surrounding area.  Of course, you would love for this test to show that the tumor is greatly reduced in size and now operable, but only the tests done in Seattle can determine that.  The endoscopic ultrasound is the one that is invaluable for that diagnosis.  The preparation for the CAT scan is what takes the fun out it.  By my estimation, this will be Gus' fourth CAT scan and he knows the routine by heart.

 

Gus so enjoys the members of "His Dream Team" that drives him to Bozeman each day.  Each one has been so uplifting and fun to be with.  I had so many people volunteering to drive Gus that I have never needed to ask the same person a second time.  I do have a few drivers who wanted at least two days of driving Gus.  I have even had to turn some people down because of not enough days left for the daily radiation.   Like I mentioned before, as the cancer walk intensifies, so do the blessings.  We are overwhelmed with all the love. 

Letter to Gus and Kathleen

Dear Kathleen and Gus,
At the risk of demonstrating to everone how scattered and disorganized I am, a year after these pictures were taken, I was trying to file a bunch of pictures. I happened upon these particular ones and had a flash back to your beautiful home in Montana. I thought back to our time visiting and the day we spent riding in the hills where you spent so much time working your stock. I remembered Gus's and Jack's narative as we climbed the wooded hills. Barb asked so many questions about the days gone by and I really got a perspective from ranchers about the land and how one could come to love it. I know you hardly have met me, but I want you to know that I took away from that time a connection that is not easily described. As you spoke about times in those hills when your kids were learning to be cowboys or more importantly learning to be responsible adults, and you described the ache of a missing child, and then the incredible relief of a found one, I came to know what these hills mean to you. Thank you for sharing with me all their beauty from your perspective. I won't forget them or you. Gus, and Kathleen, I know this road you now walk is heavy with burden, but please know that each of us who love you, walk with you and pray for you and think of you every step of the way.                                                 

John Lasher

September 15, 2008 Update

The radiation department was closed last Friday and this Monday for upgrading their computer.  Gus actually had four days of no treatment.  I would like to report that he felt great and thoroughly enjoyed it, but that is not the case.   Saturday we had a full day of vaccinating the calves and Gus was not able to participate or even watch.   He slept as much as possible.  He did join us for moving the cows back to their pasture in the evening.  Gus drove Scott's truck and horse trailer.  For the first time I can remember, we were moving cows in the dark with only the full moon to help us.  

 

Sunday we did get Gus onto the golf course for 9 holes.  Lane, Scott and April joined us.  Gus even birdied one hole and ended up with his best score yet for that course.  His score would have been better, but his chemo pump went off during his back swing one time and let's just say it wasn't one of his best shots.  It is a 3 par golf course which welcomes the grandfather and his 4 year old grandson, so that is where we choose to go.   It was a beautiful evening and Gus enjoyed himself, especially when Lane did so well on the driving range.  Gus did get sick after we left the golf course, so we knew he had tried to do too much.  For Gus to accomplish anything during this treatment time is strictly on his willpower and the refusal to quit.  We were told by the surgeon in Seattle that the radiation would get him down, but until you experience it, you always hope they are exaggerating.  The surgeon was not.   He has 15 radiation treatments left so his last one should be October 6th.   That will be a day of celebration.

 

The skin on Gus' arms, hands and the top of his head is reacting to the chemo.  The skin has angry-looking red patches that are tender to the touch. The doctors are perplexed because that is not one of the side effects of this particular chemo.  If anything it should be affecting the palms of his hands and the soles of his feet.  It is nothing serious, just another irritant to deal with.  

 

The weather is beautiful and the second cutting of horse hay is getting put up with no rain.  That is quite the feat this time of year.   Dave was too busy haying to go golfing yesterday.  We appreciate him so much.   Hopefully by the end of the week, the haying is over.